Help help I'm under attack
You've broken my back
With a seat full of tacks
I jumped so high
I got bent out of shape
Only to write to you
Until it was late
Pizza tonight
Was delicious, yes great!
I made it you know
And ate eight
Extrovert extrovert
I am at home
Wish I was with you
Or out on a date
MMMmmm dates
Tasty like dried grapes
I should do filing
I should plan parties
I should be cleaning
I should start strumming
I should go biking
Tomorrow before
Nathan and Lauren's
Why am I antsy
Why don't I fancy
Calling or moving
Or ladybug shooting
When I start poeming
It quickly becomes
Nonsense surprises
I've never thought
It's so refreshing
Altogether something
But I am fading
And elongating
This post would be
[Dumb]
Friday, July 28, 2006
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Delight Of My Heart
So God you just made me bounce up and down on my exercize ball and smile uncontrollably. And I have another thank you to add to a long recent list.
Thanks for letting me see and recognize another way you speak to me.
Here let me throw at least a couple of the list makers on here.
Thanks for being sneaky. I just watched Spy Game with my family courtesy Chasey and enjoyed it. You are much sneakier.
Thanks for having your daughter question me. Thanks for delaying building materials and giving me time off work to pray, and listen, and hear from your children, and rest. Thanks for your prayers Jesus. They have been answered over and over again in my life and both your prayer and your answer are dearly precious to me.
Thanks for unity. It is a gift that is of sweetness. It makes me think of your book of Proverbs. How wonderful a Godly wife. How terrible a contentious one.
Thanks for Mike. As he says, he is just one. So am I.
Proverbs 17:17, which apparently we have imprinted on a mug, but I memorized it before I knew that.
A friend is born, as is a brother, for times of adversity.
Why? What must the friend do in those times?
He must love.
He must lay his own life down.
Love endures long and is patient and kind.
Love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy,
is not boastful or vainglorious,
does not display itself haughtily.
It is not conceited, arrogant and inflated with pride
It is not rude, unmannerly, and does not act unbecomingly
Love, God's love in us, does not insist on its own rights or its own way
for it is not self-seeking, it is not touchy or fretful or resentful
it takes no account of the evil done to it
it pays no attention to a suffered wrong
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness
but rejoices when right and truth prevail
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes,
is ever ready to believe the best of every person
its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances
and it endures everything without weakening
Love never fails, never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end
and I love you when I obey you.
Thanks for people coming to Mom & Dad's anniversary party. Good thing you're keeping things moving along even when I am not...
Thanks for your grace. It is unfailing. That is amazing.
Thanks for reminding me to call Andy.
Thanks for a really good day.
Now it is over.
And I still haven't showered!
See what happens when tacos are ready and tempting immediately upon getting home?
No you can't see?
Well you can go look at Cyler's birthday pictures and imagine a similar expression on my face at such a predicament:
Lertastic
Goodnight
Thanks for letting me see and recognize another way you speak to me.
Here let me throw at least a couple of the list makers on here.
Thanks for being sneaky. I just watched Spy Game with my family courtesy Chasey and enjoyed it. You are much sneakier.
Thanks for having your daughter question me. Thanks for delaying building materials and giving me time off work to pray, and listen, and hear from your children, and rest. Thanks for your prayers Jesus. They have been answered over and over again in my life and both your prayer and your answer are dearly precious to me.
Thanks for unity. It is a gift that is of sweetness. It makes me think of your book of Proverbs. How wonderful a Godly wife. How terrible a contentious one.
Thanks for Mike. As he says, he is just one. So am I.
Proverbs 17:17, which apparently we have imprinted on a mug, but I memorized it before I knew that.
A friend is born, as is a brother, for times of adversity.
Why? What must the friend do in those times?
He must love.
He must lay his own life down.
Love endures long and is patient and kind.
Love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy,
is not boastful or vainglorious,
does not display itself haughtily.
It is not conceited, arrogant and inflated with pride
It is not rude, unmannerly, and does not act unbecomingly
Love, God's love in us, does not insist on its own rights or its own way
for it is not self-seeking, it is not touchy or fretful or resentful
it takes no account of the evil done to it
it pays no attention to a suffered wrong
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness
but rejoices when right and truth prevail
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes,
is ever ready to believe the best of every person
its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances
and it endures everything without weakening
Love never fails, never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end
and I love you when I obey you.
Thanks for people coming to Mom & Dad's anniversary party. Good thing you're keeping things moving along even when I am not...
Thanks for your grace. It is unfailing. That is amazing.
Thanks for reminding me to call Andy.
Thanks for a really good day.
Now it is over.
And I still haven't showered!
See what happens when tacos are ready and tempting immediately upon getting home?
No you can't see?
Well you can go look at Cyler's birthday pictures and imagine a similar expression on my face at such a predicament:
Lertastic
Goodnight
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Rare Romantic Disposition
Disapprovingly Accused Of Dropping Off The World
I really liked how that sentence rolls on the tongue so it can be the second title. Editors remember that it can't have rolled off your tongue unless you actually said it out loud.
Yes I was. I got the call Monday night and was hence late (right...) for home church. We hadn't talked in two weeks, hence the comment.
So Wednesday was a go. Wednesday is over now and I thought I'd let you know how it did go.
I cooked up some delicious Mango Chicken Stir Fry which we had in lettuce wraps. I was pleasantly surprised. Usually I'm not a big fan of ginger or large amounts of soya sauce based stir frys. The large amount of mint leaves combined with the citrus of the fresh orange juice and mango mixed perfectly and I absolutely loved it. It tasted like something you'd have to have spent a year searching for a good restaurant to eat. And it only cost $10, rather than $10/person, or much worse.
Lauren was down with the sickness so we did not go out but stayed in and hung out. All very laid back. I had done the dishes upon arriving so Lauren and Nadine did them after supper. Not terribly exciting for Lauren who does them all the time, such as before supper with me, minus when I kicked her out to give a tour of their house. But she hasn't seen Nadine in a long time and Nadine is a first born so her drive to do was fulfilled.
Nathan showed me the features of his new movie camera - quite impressive. We chatted for awhile, had tea and cookies and watched a pair of Family Guy episodes. I'm always iffy about Family Guy episodes. I suppose it's alright since I find the ADD, allusion and bizzarre jokes funny and still get offended by the crudity.
Anyways, outside Nadine wanted to talk. No no no, not Airdrie Mall Eviction talking, actual conversing. There's been none of that since I was 17.
It was a record breakingly short walk & talk. We only had to pass four houses before turning around.
She just wanted to make sure that it was OK that we were only friends. She thinks I'm a fabulous person to hang out with and doesn't want to change that but.
Now you think I'm all disappointed don't you. Wrong. I have been ever so laid back about this from the start. It was so very peacefully satisfying that the need to talk was about that vs, so what's going on between us - you need to clarify.
So what's wrong with me?
How will my poor parents ever have grandchildren at this rate?
I guess I must have a problem.
It's not that I don't have romance on my mind. It's not that it's not important to me. It's simply under control. Not a crippling restraint.
I have surpassed the need for dating. I remember it. I remember very clearly walking along with Jason, probably grade 10, and telling him, "you know what we need? Girls."
Maybe it's because I've given romance so much thought. Maybe it's because I know that it's a simple fact that it won't work out romantically with at least 9/10 girls. It makes it easy to see girls as treasures and sisters first. Later on sure I'll wonder if I could date them. But it's so much easier to see that it won't work and not worry about forcing it. Why? Why expend the effort on a disaster?
Dating is taxing.
It's difficult enough even dreaming up things to do with friends, almost painful sometimes. I remember dating. You have to do it all the time. No of course that's not what dating is all about. No of course that particular pressure wouldn't stop me from dating someone.
It just seems mysterious why some people are such eager gluttons for punishment.
So what is it?
I don't know. I just know I'm very laid back about the whole thing. If you happen upon someone attractively interesting. Hang out. Get to know them. If they're still fabulous, be friends a long while. After that long while I can usually tell if romance could ever survive and thrive. Now if life timing suits and God is keen, then go after it.
I feel genuinely sorry for people older than I am who have that pressure against them.
Still, I realize that my life is just forming, and I don't mind at all the notion of learning how to live without romance so that I can clearly live well with it.
Which brings me to my present pre-occupation. I'm looking for a house, with my house-church, so that we can become more literal. And then I've got a year, all to begin learning about a disciplined life, together. The company's great. I've got no complaints about convenience left. It's going to be good.
Love endures long and is patient.
I really liked how that sentence rolls on the tongue so it can be the second title. Editors remember that it can't have rolled off your tongue unless you actually said it out loud.
Yes I was. I got the call Monday night and was hence late (right...) for home church. We hadn't talked in two weeks, hence the comment.
So Wednesday was a go. Wednesday is over now and I thought I'd let you know how it did go.
I cooked up some delicious Mango Chicken Stir Fry which we had in lettuce wraps. I was pleasantly surprised. Usually I'm not a big fan of ginger or large amounts of soya sauce based stir frys. The large amount of mint leaves combined with the citrus of the fresh orange juice and mango mixed perfectly and I absolutely loved it. It tasted like something you'd have to have spent a year searching for a good restaurant to eat. And it only cost $10, rather than $10/person, or much worse.
Lauren was down with the sickness so we did not go out but stayed in and hung out. All very laid back. I had done the dishes upon arriving so Lauren and Nadine did them after supper. Not terribly exciting for Lauren who does them all the time, such as before supper with me, minus when I kicked her out to give a tour of their house. But she hasn't seen Nadine in a long time and Nadine is a first born so her drive to do was fulfilled.
Nathan showed me the features of his new movie camera - quite impressive. We chatted for awhile, had tea and cookies and watched a pair of Family Guy episodes. I'm always iffy about Family Guy episodes. I suppose it's alright since I find the ADD, allusion and bizzarre jokes funny and still get offended by the crudity.
Anyways, outside Nadine wanted to talk. No no no, not Airdrie Mall Eviction talking, actual conversing. There's been none of that since I was 17.
It was a record breakingly short walk & talk. We only had to pass four houses before turning around.
She just wanted to make sure that it was OK that we were only friends. She thinks I'm a fabulous person to hang out with and doesn't want to change that but.
Now you think I'm all disappointed don't you. Wrong. I have been ever so laid back about this from the start. It was so very peacefully satisfying that the need to talk was about that vs, so what's going on between us - you need to clarify.
So what's wrong with me?
How will my poor parents ever have grandchildren at this rate?
I guess I must have a problem.
It's not that I don't have romance on my mind. It's not that it's not important to me. It's simply under control. Not a crippling restraint.
I have surpassed the need for dating. I remember it. I remember very clearly walking along with Jason, probably grade 10, and telling him, "you know what we need? Girls."
Maybe it's because I've given romance so much thought. Maybe it's because I know that it's a simple fact that it won't work out romantically with at least 9/10 girls. It makes it easy to see girls as treasures and sisters first. Later on sure I'll wonder if I could date them. But it's so much easier to see that it won't work and not worry about forcing it. Why? Why expend the effort on a disaster?
Dating is taxing.
It's difficult enough even dreaming up things to do with friends, almost painful sometimes. I remember dating. You have to do it all the time. No of course that's not what dating is all about. No of course that particular pressure wouldn't stop me from dating someone.
It just seems mysterious why some people are such eager gluttons for punishment.
So what is it?
I don't know. I just know I'm very laid back about the whole thing. If you happen upon someone attractively interesting. Hang out. Get to know them. If they're still fabulous, be friends a long while. After that long while I can usually tell if romance could ever survive and thrive. Now if life timing suits and God is keen, then go after it.
I feel genuinely sorry for people older than I am who have that pressure against them.
Still, I realize that my life is just forming, and I don't mind at all the notion of learning how to live without romance so that I can clearly live well with it.
Which brings me to my present pre-occupation. I'm looking for a house, with my house-church, so that we can become more literal. And then I've got a year, all to begin learning about a disciplined life, together. The company's great. I've got no complaints about convenience left. It's going to be good.
Love endures long and is patient.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
My Cardio's Infinite
Actually I'm not Will Smith so I'll be enrolling at Decidedly Jazz Danceworks this fall. The early bird deadline is August 23, so you could think about doing the same and decide before then.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to take the Funk Intro class on Thursday night from 7:30-9. It's $275 for 18 weeks of 1.5 hour lessons.
Of course you all know me, and how my interests flitter back and forth. If I'm living closer to central or west Calgary then I'll be tempted to take up rock climbing. Or maybe music will take off and I'll become obsessed with it at the expense of all other hobbies.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to take the Funk Intro class on Thursday night from 7:30-9. It's $275 for 18 weeks of 1.5 hour lessons.
Of course you all know me, and how my interests flitter back and forth. If I'm living closer to central or west Calgary then I'll be tempted to take up rock climbing. Or maybe music will take off and I'll become obsessed with it at the expense of all other hobbies.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
To Be Missed
So this post is all for RJ who is missing friends and wanting updates of life in Calgary.
Well RJ, at Converge last week, Chad and Adam Loz sang and played some worship songs and we got to sing along to God too. And we got to have communion. I had communion with Jason who I hadn't seen in quite a while. Then we got to pray for Marty & Kari, and Adam Hughes. I prayed Colossians passages over both of them.
I had hung out with Chasey that day and took it easy since I was feeling sick.
I bought the Rik Leaf CD and put bread on his table Saturday night.
Monday was the UM gathering at the girls' house. You got my email followup which I wrote on Tuesday night I presume. It was a good time of sharing and praying together.
Tuesday night I did chores and wrote for a while and did some reflecting.
Wednesday night I did chores and wrote a letter to the Vice President of HSBC to sort out that whole stupid thing.
Thursday night I downloaded a lot of mp3s and generally checked out bands from my HM Magazine - I haven't yet burned the mp3s into a CD sampler yet because I think the CDRW stopped working on this computer too. Basically it should die any minute now from being over a decade.
Then I still was feeling offish because I missed you so I made myself chocolate pudding, and ate some, and had a coke poured into a glass with a great deal of ice. Then I started reading a fiction novel that I bought 2 years ago but never read because I forgot I even had it since I had loaned it to my Dad. Then I went to bed at 1:30 AM and felt very satisfied for having done something enjoyable.
Today I went to the Stampede with Andy and Cyler. We looked at the photo exhibit (my favourite part of the Stampede) and went to the Our Lady Peace concert (which wasn't fabulous) and then we watched the fireworks. We also played the progressive alphabet game with name/spouse/location/job around in a circle along with Andrea,Hayley, and darnit, I had it a minute ago. Anyway, 3 of Melissa's friends.
Singing in the car with Andy is fun.
Today I found out that I can actually apply for a mortgage and will be pre-approved for more than I did 2 years ago.
Jamie is to present the idea/possibilities of buying a house in a week.
We had a freak downpour at work the other day - it was some intense rain, then some hail, then some more intense rain. It didn't hit Calgary but it was fun.
Pirates 2 is a great movie. Nacho Libre was quaint.
I bought Harvest Moon Tix tonight.
Are you enjoying your CDs I made you?
Did you see a Tiger?
I have been faithfully praying that written prayer each night. I am more determined than ever to pray it each night because I know you have it now too, and so I can pray for you with yet another connection and think about how You are starting your day when I end mine and we just keep trading, like sandals, like travelling roles.
Faye is having an awesome time in Israel and is nowhere near anything dangerous.
Love ya. God bless.
Well RJ, at Converge last week, Chad and Adam Loz sang and played some worship songs and we got to sing along to God too. And we got to have communion. I had communion with Jason who I hadn't seen in quite a while. Then we got to pray for Marty & Kari, and Adam Hughes. I prayed Colossians passages over both of them.
I had hung out with Chasey that day and took it easy since I was feeling sick.
I bought the Rik Leaf CD and put bread on his table Saturday night.
Monday was the UM gathering at the girls' house. You got my email followup which I wrote on Tuesday night I presume. It was a good time of sharing and praying together.
Tuesday night I did chores and wrote for a while and did some reflecting.
Wednesday night I did chores and wrote a letter to the Vice President of HSBC to sort out that whole stupid thing.
Thursday night I downloaded a lot of mp3s and generally checked out bands from my HM Magazine - I haven't yet burned the mp3s into a CD sampler yet because I think the CDRW stopped working on this computer too. Basically it should die any minute now from being over a decade.
Then I still was feeling offish because I missed you so I made myself chocolate pudding, and ate some, and had a coke poured into a glass with a great deal of ice. Then I started reading a fiction novel that I bought 2 years ago but never read because I forgot I even had it since I had loaned it to my Dad. Then I went to bed at 1:30 AM and felt very satisfied for having done something enjoyable.
Today I went to the Stampede with Andy and Cyler. We looked at the photo exhibit (my favourite part of the Stampede) and went to the Our Lady Peace concert (which wasn't fabulous) and then we watched the fireworks. We also played the progressive alphabet game with name/spouse/location/job around in a circle along with Andrea,Hayley, and darnit, I had it a minute ago. Anyway, 3 of Melissa's friends.
Singing in the car with Andy is fun.
Today I found out that I can actually apply for a mortgage and will be pre-approved for more than I did 2 years ago.
Jamie is to present the idea/possibilities of buying a house in a week.
We had a freak downpour at work the other day - it was some intense rain, then some hail, then some more intense rain. It didn't hit Calgary but it was fun.
Pirates 2 is a great movie. Nacho Libre was quaint.
I bought Harvest Moon Tix tonight.
Are you enjoying your CDs I made you?
Did you see a Tiger?
I have been faithfully praying that written prayer each night. I am more determined than ever to pray it each night because I know you have it now too, and so I can pray for you with yet another connection and think about how You are starting your day when I end mine and we just keep trading, like sandals, like travelling roles.
Faye is having an awesome time in Israel and is nowhere near anything dangerous.
Love ya. God bless.
Tomorrow - Hang Out Here
Saturday July 15 you can come over and hang out and watch the Violet Burning DVD if you so wish. You can all thank Jason for actually calling me and saying, "so... you have a Violet Burning DVD huh?"
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Sick, Throatless, Sitting, Very Much Enjoying
Last night I went down to St. Paul's where Andrea "matchless" Matchullis and Rik Leaf were playing. I think Dave coined the matchless moniker and it made me smile. Andrea played, and you couldn't even tell she wishes for much more. Perhaps it was her dream about losing her arm and not even noticing until she gradually realized all it means. Better to use it and be thankful than to curse what it is not yet. Listening to Andrea is always pleasant. She went to Grant MacEwan for Vocal Performance and it shows strong. She played 'oldies' and it was odd to realize I've heard her play half a dozen times and recognized and guessed songs she talked about briefly before playing.
And thanks God for the evening starting an hour late, and thus I was not late but early. Bless the people at Americano Pizza that unimpressed me last night.
Rik Leaf played and he was sick. All that really means was that I gave him a Fisherman's Friend - it certainly didn't diminish the performance from our perspective. I got to see him play just over a year ago at Sherry McConnel's birthday bash. He's a very gifted, practiced musician and a wonderful, clever, performer.
My enjoyment was almost defined by the smiles I could see around the room on other people's faces. How could you not love the evening? All the stories and personality with fantastic music.
God bless him and his family.
So there's some World Cup today, and Converge tonight, and sunshine and water inbetweenst.
No Sam Roberts I decided but ah well, you can't have fun all the time. My back is very sore. It could have been from lifting a 17' high wall by sheer brute strength on Friday - one of the craziest things we've ever done but it worked out alright.
Well there you go, a typical post, haven't seen one of those for awhile here now have you?
And thanks God for the evening starting an hour late, and thus I was not late but early. Bless the people at Americano Pizza that unimpressed me last night.
Rik Leaf played and he was sick. All that really means was that I gave him a Fisherman's Friend - it certainly didn't diminish the performance from our perspective. I got to see him play just over a year ago at Sherry McConnel's birthday bash. He's a very gifted, practiced musician and a wonderful, clever, performer.
My enjoyment was almost defined by the smiles I could see around the room on other people's faces. How could you not love the evening? All the stories and personality with fantastic music.
God bless him and his family.
So there's some World Cup today, and Converge tonight, and sunshine and water inbetweenst.
No Sam Roberts I decided but ah well, you can't have fun all the time. My back is very sore. It could have been from lifting a 17' high wall by sheer brute strength on Friday - one of the craziest things we've ever done but it worked out alright.
Well there you go, a typical post, haven't seen one of those for awhile here now have you?
Buy 2 Get 1 Free
Offer #1 is the exciting chance to spend money on band merch including T-Shirts and CDs from the ever-popular Zambooie vendor. Less money can be spent on shipping with a collaborative order and now is your chance to save! Just go to Zambooie.com and tell me which items you want and ensure you actually have enough money for said items and you'll be on your way. If you mistakenly think you don't need anything right now, let me tell you that House Of Heroes and Brandtson both have CDs for $10 and Mute Math's album is only available there.
Offer #2 is a quaint little excursion North for some live music September 8-10. The annual Harvest Moon Festival in Edmonton should be a lot of fun. Not to mention: What better way to say I love you than by making a friend go on a road trip - besides giving them a spatula? They have some really good bands lined up this year. You can check out all the details at http://www.harvestmoonfestival.com
The idea here is to get the group rate with ten or more people. Now we already missed the early bird deadline - except that they extended it to July 14! So you need to talk to me pronto as I would much prefer to only pay $33 each for tix.
Offer #3 is the chance to come to the lush gardens located fancily enough, right here in Whitehorn, right behind my house, for some quiet, peaceful, entirely relaxing, soulful you might even say, rambunctious jumping on a trampoline. Yes it has returned, and though it's only 12', it will still do the job of getting you suspended off the ground. Or you could all call me on the very same day and say Nolan, when are we finally going to get to see that Violet Burning DVD you once talked about, and I could say, well I haven't even watched it yet even though I bought it... when was that April? Why we should watch it right now. Then I would even pop you popcorn for the event, or give you carrots if you'd prefer.
All offers may be extended to friends.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Explanation & First Clues
So I have been meditating on 1 Corinthians 7 and 13 for a couple weeks now. I shared these posted passages with Nick in his birthday card but after reading Lauren's 'return to blogging' post I decided to share them here.
The crazy part in all of this are the verses surrounding the quoted ones. Paul writes, and answers their questions. What should you do with yourself now that you're a Christian? You should continue with whatever you were doing before you were a Christian.
So for example, if I was a carpenter before, then I should keep on being a carpenter now. The change Paul talks about is not quitting your job and going and becoming a super apostle travelling about on missionary journeys. The change is in how you work; why you work. Don't work because you're worried about the clothes you want to buy. Don't work worrying about how much it will cost to go to your favourite restaurant.
Don't become attached to the things of this world. What are things of this world? What are pagans worried about?
So hard to answer that question because the church I see here is worried about the same things as the pagans.
But there is a treasure written here. There is a freedom, an abundant life, a joy, and a peace to be found here. A mystery hidden since the creation of the world. And I am excited.
So I won't worry about defining what is pagan. I want to start with the Kingdom of God. With living for God. With desiring to please him.
So at work for example, I'm pretty sure cursing pieces of wood who are not co-operating with my will - not such a hotness attractor for Jesus.
Or far worse, being prideful in my work. Doubting other people's work. Viewing others as less than myself rather than more.
And what about all the other time not at work?
Because work is good. Paul also wrote about that. Don't be lazy, work. Sure it's a drag sometimes, especially since it's not as much fun as naming [or photographing] animals and trees, and tending [or writing songs about] gardens with no weeds, pestilence, or drought.
But Hope, which is eternal, is being sure of our salvation. Sure that this life and this world are temporary and will all pass away. Sure that heaven is a wonderful place, and our place has been secured there by Jesus.
And what about all the other time not at work?
The Kingdom of God.
My primary concern.
With what desire shall I make it my concern dear Jesus dear Jesus?
Love mercy?
Love is a big word. I've been reading about it for weeks and it's much bigger than my love. Don't despair though because it is God's love in me that I need.
God is love.
The Holy Spirit lives within me.
In 1 Corinthians 14, I'm told I should desire spiritual gifts. Most of them all, I should desire prophecy.
So many clues to this mystery. So many. But I'll leave you with that one and run along now.
The crazy part in all of this are the verses surrounding the quoted ones. Paul writes, and answers their questions. What should you do with yourself now that you're a Christian? You should continue with whatever you were doing before you were a Christian.
So for example, if I was a carpenter before, then I should keep on being a carpenter now. The change Paul talks about is not quitting your job and going and becoming a super apostle travelling about on missionary journeys. The change is in how you work; why you work. Don't work because you're worried about the clothes you want to buy. Don't work worrying about how much it will cost to go to your favourite restaurant.
Don't become attached to the things of this world. What are things of this world? What are pagans worried about?
So hard to answer that question because the church I see here is worried about the same things as the pagans.
But there is a treasure written here. There is a freedom, an abundant life, a joy, and a peace to be found here. A mystery hidden since the creation of the world. And I am excited.
So I won't worry about defining what is pagan. I want to start with the Kingdom of God. With living for God. With desiring to please him.
So at work for example, I'm pretty sure cursing pieces of wood who are not co-operating with my will - not such a hotness attractor for Jesus.
Or far worse, being prideful in my work. Doubting other people's work. Viewing others as less than myself rather than more.
And what about all the other time not at work?
Because work is good. Paul also wrote about that. Don't be lazy, work. Sure it's a drag sometimes, especially since it's not as much fun as naming [or photographing] animals and trees, and tending [or writing songs about] gardens with no weeds, pestilence, or drought.
But Hope, which is eternal, is being sure of our salvation. Sure that this life and this world are temporary and will all pass away. Sure that heaven is a wonderful place, and our place has been secured there by Jesus.
And what about all the other time not at work?
The Kingdom of God.
My primary concern.
With what desire shall I make it my concern dear Jesus dear Jesus?
Love mercy?
Love is a big word. I've been reading about it for weeks and it's much bigger than my love. Don't despair though because it is God's love in me that I need.
God is love.
The Holy Spirit lives within me.
In 1 Corinthians 14, I'm told I should desire spiritual gifts. Most of them all, I should desire prophecy.
So many clues to this mystery. So many. But I'll leave you with that one and run along now.
Hidden Mystery
1 Corinthians 7
30Happiness or sadness or wealth should not keep anyone from doing God's work. 31Those in frequent contact with the things of the world should make good use of them without becoming attached to them, for this world and all it contains will pass away. 32In everything you do, I want you to be free from the concerns of this life…
35I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.
Matthew 6
24"No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
25"So I tell you, don't worry about everyday life--whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. Doesn't life consist of more than food and clothing? 26Look at the birds. They don't need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are. 27Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not.
28"And why worry about your clothes? Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, 29yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you? You have so little faith!
31"So don't worry about having enough food or drink or clothing. 32Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, 33and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.
34"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.
Matthew 13:35
This fulfilled the prophecy that said, "I will speak to you in parables. I will explain mysteries hidden since the creation of the world."
Matthew 13:44
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Will Music Make A Comeback?
So, one of the two music books I ordered came. The other one was mysteriously refunded. But it's a start! 1 /4 isn't bad (I ordered both books before but they were lost). Andy is in Canada now. Adam is lending him his amp. So what else do I need? Preferably another guitarist - although I suppose a keyboardist would also be assistive. Being a music snob is hard. It means that when people come up to me after church and say, "wow Nolan! You've become so good at guitar!" I return with, "oh no! I've lost so much in the last 2 years!" It was Nathan's Dad who remembers when I first came over and learned to play from Nathan. He's heard me play more recently of course too, but it's hard to accept such a compliment when I know how far I've fallen. It also means that I won't like the music that I start making. I won't be happy with how I can't sing and play guitar, or sing for that matter, or as already mentioned play guitar.
But somewhere my mind remembers the raw excitement after playing a song together with a band. It remembers the sheer energy driving bold statements like, "that was better than Delirious!!!" It remembers the absolute joy and satisfaction of melding songs together. It remembers getting on the rare occasion, perfect tone. And all of those memories believe my perfectionism is all a load of rubbish. My self-criticism is all a hoax, the hollowness of which will never stand against the return of experience.
So I need to get Cyler drumming. And I need to start playing again.
Bonus link: Retro Transfigured
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Mediterranean
(Note: Yugoslavia is now Serbia & Montenegro)3 Continents and more than 22 countries. This is where I want to go.
I finally had the opportunity to read about them all this morning via the cia world fact book. I will continue to read books about them in greater detail one at a time. I'll also need to learn to speak arabic and french. Yes of course there are more languages but those will have to be learned by other people who travel with me. What are you doing in five years?
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Cutting Back
Well here's a what's going on for you:
I will be posting far less often (or so I say) for the time being. I found that it was getting unhealthy. When I start thinking about how I will retell things later it's not a good sign. I also would rather do things than write about doing things (or wishing I was doing).
Luke12:15 And He said to them, Guard yourselves and keep free from all covetousness (the immoderate desire for wealth, the greedy longing to have more); for a man's life does not consist in and is not derived from possessing overflowing abundance or that which is over and above his needs.
A good verse for me to memorize. I will often start coveting. I want a new car stereo. I want more CDs. I want more clothes.
This and hundreds of other verses like it have been so good for me lately.
Let the words of Christ live in your hearts and make you wise.
I prayed that over a congregation weeks back and God certainly paid attention that I was present while it was prayed. All this reading of Jesus keeps reminding me how radical Jesus is. It also keeps me in check. It points out unhealthy thoughts. It points towards what is important.
Deitrich's book by the way has just nailed me. I haven't even got very far yet, but it has already corrected me on so many of my views and attitudes about Christian community.
Converting those corrections into change is hard work too!
Curtis told me he was "talking me up" to "some lady friends" of his. He told them I was beautiful, had high cheekbones and great hair. Do you see a problem with that last statement and the picture it conjures for you? No? OK, just thought I'd check. Anyway the whole idea of someone talking me up seems so alien. Probably because I don't go around marketing my single friends. Sorry if any of you were expecting me to. Unless my implication tactics (and by tactics I mean honest fun with no subversive intentions) with Melissa and Trevor count, I certainly haven't.
So what are your plans for the summer?
I was asked this a number of times this evening. I was also asked what I'm up to.
Hard questions to answer. Well hang on, they weren't, I responded quickly with answers. But the questions lingered in my head wanting more.
I'm thinking about taking a Hip Hop class at Decidedly Jazz Danceworks in July.
I want to get my bike tuned up and do some classic bike all the way down through to fish creek treks.
I want to go on a few hikes in the mountains.
I will go hang out with friends who call me up and invite me.
I'll help organize my parents' 25th wedding anniversary celebration.
Which of these are seeking the kingdom?
Seek the kingdom first.
Love one another.
Oh Jesus, I'm so glad you never leave me. And I must retire for I have many tasks tomorrow.
Thanks for Jono quoting CS Lewis on joy in his comment on Faye's post. I can't seem to get it out of my head.
With that, if you miss me, you should solve it.
Goodnight.
I will be posting far less often (or so I say) for the time being. I found that it was getting unhealthy. When I start thinking about how I will retell things later it's not a good sign. I also would rather do things than write about doing things (or wishing I was doing).
Luke12:15 And He said to them, Guard yourselves and keep free from all covetousness (the immoderate desire for wealth, the greedy longing to have more); for a man's life does not consist in and is not derived from possessing overflowing abundance or that which is over and above his needs.
A good verse for me to memorize. I will often start coveting. I want a new car stereo. I want more CDs. I want more clothes.
This and hundreds of other verses like it have been so good for me lately.
Let the words of Christ live in your hearts and make you wise.
I prayed that over a congregation weeks back and God certainly paid attention that I was present while it was prayed. All this reading of Jesus keeps reminding me how radical Jesus is. It also keeps me in check. It points out unhealthy thoughts. It points towards what is important.
Deitrich's book by the way has just nailed me. I haven't even got very far yet, but it has already corrected me on so many of my views and attitudes about Christian community.
Converting those corrections into change is hard work too!
Curtis told me he was "talking me up" to "some lady friends" of his. He told them I was beautiful, had high cheekbones and great hair. Do you see a problem with that last statement and the picture it conjures for you? No? OK, just thought I'd check. Anyway the whole idea of someone talking me up seems so alien. Probably because I don't go around marketing my single friends. Sorry if any of you were expecting me to. Unless my implication tactics (and by tactics I mean honest fun with no subversive intentions) with Melissa and Trevor count, I certainly haven't.
So what are your plans for the summer?
I was asked this a number of times this evening. I was also asked what I'm up to.
Hard questions to answer. Well hang on, they weren't, I responded quickly with answers. But the questions lingered in my head wanting more.
I'm thinking about taking a Hip Hop class at Decidedly Jazz Danceworks in July.
I want to get my bike tuned up and do some classic bike all the way down through to fish creek treks.
I want to go on a few hikes in the mountains.
I will go hang out with friends who call me up and invite me.
I'll help organize my parents' 25th wedding anniversary celebration.
Which of these are seeking the kingdom?
Seek the kingdom first.
Love one another.
Oh Jesus, I'm so glad you never leave me. And I must retire for I have many tasks tomorrow.
Thanks for Jono quoting CS Lewis on joy in his comment on Faye's post. I can't seem to get it out of my head.
With that, if you miss me, you should solve it.
Goodnight.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Maybe it was lots of Cauliflower tonight
Thought I'd throw in a happier post.
I feel more like myself again. Maybe it was the incredible Art Gala on Saturday. Maybe it was hanging out with God's family on Sunday. Maybe it was spitting in RJ's eyes on Monday. Maybe it was napping in the sun on break today. Whatever the case, God is good.
I feel more like myself again. Maybe it was the incredible Art Gala on Saturday. Maybe it was hanging out with God's family on Sunday. Maybe it was spitting in RJ's eyes on Monday. Maybe it was napping in the sun on break today. Whatever the case, God is good.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Saturday
So emails, particularily Andy's, bring me back from all the craziness, to think, oh right, I still have no idea what God wants us to do, and I'm not doing anything about it.
So I successfully borrowed and began reading Life Together, or some close variant, by Dietrich Boenhouffer (sp?).
It's already, along with all the Jesus speeches I've been reading, stirred up memories of the beginning of my time with Epic. I remember the fear back then. The wonderful anticipation fears that if Epic had its way, our lives would all be ruined in radical, or conversely real, christianity.
So no new progresss on which community God wants us to live in. No insights into the living arrangements that will entail.
But I don't even know how I can bother caring about those yet. Those seem so secondary. I'm more concerned now with regaining closeness with God. The distance has made itself known this last week.
I keep praying about Going From Victory To Victory In Jesus, while I feel I've been going from a whole lot of failure through the day to calming myself down being thankful for simply being alive even if only because God invented colours and my eyes can still see them.
Where is the rest I long to understand. The rest I long to succeed in. The rest peace is found in.
It's always different looking at truths, exciting life-changing truths, from underneath.
I watched Batman Begins with my family last night.
Why do we fall down?
So I successfully borrowed and began reading Life Together, or some close variant, by Dietrich Boenhouffer (sp?).
It's already, along with all the Jesus speeches I've been reading, stirred up memories of the beginning of my time with Epic. I remember the fear back then. The wonderful anticipation fears that if Epic had its way, our lives would all be ruined in radical, or conversely real, christianity.
So no new progresss on which community God wants us to live in. No insights into the living arrangements that will entail.
But I don't even know how I can bother caring about those yet. Those seem so secondary. I'm more concerned now with regaining closeness with God. The distance has made itself known this last week.
I keep praying about Going From Victory To Victory In Jesus, while I feel I've been going from a whole lot of failure through the day to calming myself down being thankful for simply being alive even if only because God invented colours and my eyes can still see them.
Where is the rest I long to understand. The rest I long to succeed in. The rest peace is found in.
It's always different looking at truths, exciting life-changing truths, from underneath.
I watched Batman Begins with my family last night.
Why do we fall down?
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Tigger Got His Spring Back, And Then Lost It
It's amazing what going to bed at 10:00 will do for you.
I awoke so much happier and went to work quite cheery. The morning passed along pleasantly and I was quite happy with my work. I even decided to bring some CDs along and so I listened to some Sanctus Real, Ace Troubleshooter, Five Iron Frenzy, and Hangnail, to name a few. On break I read more Jesus talking passages and prayed and enjoyed the sunshine.
But the afternoon oh the afternoon.
Complications arose. Frustrations ensued.
And I desperately thrust out my hand trying to grab back the peace I'd had in the morning but it slipped right through my fingers.
So I continued to apologize and ask forgiveness through the afternoon while I resorted back to a scarier version of me.
I remember being shocked and disappointed in myself when I couldn't find my chalk line and freaked out more than when I lost Jono's camera.
How sad is that?
But I got invited out to dinner for Stavin's Father's visit (Stavin is Shay's friend). Shay had invited RJ because he thought it might be nice for them to chat about India. So I got some good food and meet some interesting people and stay low key.
And I stayed up until now to read Faye's latest blog which she has yet to publish (she needs to get a name for one of her quotes).
Tomorrow I get to go to the Pearson Dance Performance and see Samantha.
I'm still praying for someone. No not asking for them...
Bed.
I awoke so much happier and went to work quite cheery. The morning passed along pleasantly and I was quite happy with my work. I even decided to bring some CDs along and so I listened to some Sanctus Real, Ace Troubleshooter, Five Iron Frenzy, and Hangnail, to name a few. On break I read more Jesus talking passages and prayed and enjoyed the sunshine.
But the afternoon oh the afternoon.
Complications arose. Frustrations ensued.
And I desperately thrust out my hand trying to grab back the peace I'd had in the morning but it slipped right through my fingers.
So I continued to apologize and ask forgiveness through the afternoon while I resorted back to a scarier version of me.
I remember being shocked and disappointed in myself when I couldn't find my chalk line and freaked out more than when I lost Jono's camera.
How sad is that?
But I got invited out to dinner for Stavin's Father's visit (Stavin is Shay's friend). Shay had invited RJ because he thought it might be nice for them to chat about India. So I got some good food and meet some interesting people and stay low key.
And I stayed up until now to read Faye's latest blog which she has yet to publish (she needs to get a name for one of her quotes).
Tomorrow I get to go to the Pearson Dance Performance and see Samantha.
I'm still praying for someone. No not asking for them...
Bed.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
A Present For People Who Long For A Different Answer
Today was day two of the work week. I haven't been doing especially well with it.
Monday morning I awoke a zombie and didn't really escape until 11. I still had to work for those 4 hours though.
I had a decent night's sleep beforehand. The sleep just couldn't make up for the busy weekend.
Friday I awoke very early to get my car's oil changed and the tires balanced. I started reading my HM magazine while waiting and it was a pleasant time. My mechanic is honest and fair and my car worked better. Such satisfaction.
Next it was on to Nathan's to begin finishing the slide show. It wasn't long before I decided to go and buy a suit for the afternoon and come back to it at night. So I did, and I bought groceries for the guys' breakfast for the next morning.
My suit was pretty grandish and cheapish, and with my huge hair that day I looked very Napoleonish.
I even got to hang out with Jenn for half an hour.
Then it was back home for supper and ironing and packing. Then it was the slide show. And more of the slide show. And very late at night/morningish it was all over. Or so I thought.
I also got to pray for Nathan before he went to sleep for rest and the day ahead.
In the morning we had fun and delicious food and Moulin Rouge. Then it was cleaning and trying to burn the show to DVD. Except there was lots of complications, which were solved only to be met with further complications. AGH!!!
Too bad. I'll come back and fix anything, if necessary between the ceremony and the reception.
So it was off to the reception, where I was quickly dubbed Cuban B.
RJ and I had the chance to pray for Nathan and it set the tone for the whole wedding. God gave me a picture, and let it be known that he was for the wedding. He had already done the same for a great many people and as such the occasion was ridiculously joyous.
It was also fun, and unique. If you don't know Nathan & Lauren then you wouldn't understand how the groom marching in to "Make way for Prince Ali!" followed by a short dramatic sliver of The Emperor's New Groove can fit very comfortably without any irreverence.
This wedding was beautiful. Honestly I could write a whole post on it. I loved every second of it.
But not now. After the ceremony. RJ and I headed to my house where I whipped up a fine salad and then I dashed off to Nathan's to see about the DVD. It wasn't complete yet. I had to fix all the text that had been ruined, and then burn it twice more before it would be in good order. Except I ran out of time and had to dash back to my house and give Mike a key (lots of people had come over to my house to hang out in between) to go and get it and bring it while I hurried to the church where I was an usher/seater.
The reception was fabulous. It was an extension of the ceremony. But again, I'll save that for an entire wedding day write-up.
The slideshow by the way was hindered by an ancient and problematic player which caused it to skip, and freeze, and miss portions. Ah well, what could I do? At least people got to see some pictures.
I also took some initiative and will now take some time to bring in another installment of Nolan's Type:
So RJ and I got to see everyone who was coming to the wedding because as I said, we showed them where to sit. Nadine, a friend of Lauren's, recognized me, even though I was disguised as Cuban B, and gave me a killer smile and a we have to catch up later look.
I suppose I should give you some background on this catch up thing. I think I've met her once before. Possibly twice, but I'm going to go with once. It was at Lauren's going away to England summer birthday party. We got to chat a little bit. Nadine was moving to Lethbridge to take teaching.
She caught my attention the first time because she looked so very familiar but I could never place why and when talking there seemed no reason we would ever have met before.
But as I write this I realize I was hoping she would be at the wedding...
So as the night continued, we only got brief snippets in passing, but every time there was that killer smile. I was patient though and at last there was some mingling time and space at her table. So I moved in.
I sat down beside her and we started talking.
I was soon to be kicked out by the returning owner of the seat I'd borrowed but Nadine came over to my table to finish, "catching up." Then the program resumed and then after the program people came over and all started talking to me and ruined my chance to swap phone numbers.
But Lauren will return from the Dominican and then...
Then I might ask for a phone number and then I might get together for fun a couple times over the summer before she goes back to school.
Otherwise, this will be an isolated event meant only to let you know that killer smiles are worth a lot of points. Possibly showing interest in me is worth points too, but that's separate. Anyway, this story is nothing serious or likely meaningful, and doesn't remove any other interests. It doesn't change the fact that I don't mind being single either.
So after the wedding I went dancing with Nick & RJ, and the other 4 people who came along left right away. Why? I don't know. I left early because I was exhausted already and had to wake up at 6:30. Which I did, and went off with Jason to Heart Creek. Then we hiked Heart Mountain, and decided to go on to another mountain, and then to a higher peak, and then back to the first peak and then down the side of the mountain, which took forever and was never easy. I do have to say that the crazy free-climbing I did was exhilarating if incredibly stupid. The walk along the creek at the end was very peaceful and the whole trek was good old Jason always encourages me when we get together because he's a good guy and he loves God.
So the 6 plus hours of outdoor action and beauty over, it was time for fun and social mixing at RJ's bbq. And lots of meat. Salmon, Dogs, Burgers, Chicken Kebobs. Slushies. And finally I went home, which brings me back to Monday.
This week while Kyle is gone I get to do Back Framing, and Basements, and Pre-Build, and starting the next house. Well maybe not all of those. Everything's taking so long. Monday I realized that the rest I was hoping for wouldn't be gained by not working on a slide show.
So I haven't been listening to the radio during the day. But I've become very frustrated when things go wrong. So I've read my Bible anyway and each time it's been so good despite not feeling like it. But it doesn't last. The frustration and exhaustion return.
But I'm not doing bad. If you asked me how I was I'd still give you the automatic and honest good. Maybe just not as enthusiastically as when I don't chainsaw through floor joists accidentally.
And yes I'm going to stay hiding. My room still isn't clean.
The list of people to hang out with is too daunting.
I'm so strange.
I look at my blogs and think, there's hardly any comments, and want them. And I turn on my phone, and hope for calls from friends. But I got a txt message from Cyler saying that people were going to see a movie tonight and I didn't go. I didn't want to see the movie. I didn't want to do anything for that matter.
And so I'm a curious mix of being exhausted and empty, and lonely, and dreading people.
Monday morning I awoke a zombie and didn't really escape until 11. I still had to work for those 4 hours though.
I had a decent night's sleep beforehand. The sleep just couldn't make up for the busy weekend.
Friday I awoke very early to get my car's oil changed and the tires balanced. I started reading my HM magazine while waiting and it was a pleasant time. My mechanic is honest and fair and my car worked better. Such satisfaction.
Next it was on to Nathan's to begin finishing the slide show. It wasn't long before I decided to go and buy a suit for the afternoon and come back to it at night. So I did, and I bought groceries for the guys' breakfast for the next morning.
My suit was pretty grandish and cheapish, and with my huge hair that day I looked very Napoleonish.
I even got to hang out with Jenn for half an hour.
Then it was back home for supper and ironing and packing. Then it was the slide show. And more of the slide show. And very late at night/morningish it was all over. Or so I thought.
I also got to pray for Nathan before he went to sleep for rest and the day ahead.
In the morning we had fun and delicious food and Moulin Rouge. Then it was cleaning and trying to burn the show to DVD. Except there was lots of complications, which were solved only to be met with further complications. AGH!!!
Too bad. I'll come back and fix anything, if necessary between the ceremony and the reception.
So it was off to the reception, where I was quickly dubbed Cuban B.
RJ and I had the chance to pray for Nathan and it set the tone for the whole wedding. God gave me a picture, and let it be known that he was for the wedding. He had already done the same for a great many people and as such the occasion was ridiculously joyous.
It was also fun, and unique. If you don't know Nathan & Lauren then you wouldn't understand how the groom marching in to "Make way for Prince Ali!" followed by a short dramatic sliver of The Emperor's New Groove can fit very comfortably without any irreverence.
This wedding was beautiful. Honestly I could write a whole post on it. I loved every second of it.
But not now. After the ceremony. RJ and I headed to my house where I whipped up a fine salad and then I dashed off to Nathan's to see about the DVD. It wasn't complete yet. I had to fix all the text that had been ruined, and then burn it twice more before it would be in good order. Except I ran out of time and had to dash back to my house and give Mike a key (lots of people had come over to my house to hang out in between) to go and get it and bring it while I hurried to the church where I was an usher/seater.
The reception was fabulous. It was an extension of the ceremony. But again, I'll save that for an entire wedding day write-up.
The slideshow by the way was hindered by an ancient and problematic player which caused it to skip, and freeze, and miss portions. Ah well, what could I do? At least people got to see some pictures.
I also took some initiative and will now take some time to bring in another installment of Nolan's Type:
So RJ and I got to see everyone who was coming to the wedding because as I said, we showed them where to sit. Nadine, a friend of Lauren's, recognized me, even though I was disguised as Cuban B, and gave me a killer smile and a we have to catch up later look.
I suppose I should give you some background on this catch up thing. I think I've met her once before. Possibly twice, but I'm going to go with once. It was at Lauren's going away to England summer birthday party. We got to chat a little bit. Nadine was moving to Lethbridge to take teaching.
She caught my attention the first time because she looked so very familiar but I could never place why and when talking there seemed no reason we would ever have met before.
But as I write this I realize I was hoping she would be at the wedding...
So as the night continued, we only got brief snippets in passing, but every time there was that killer smile. I was patient though and at last there was some mingling time and space at her table. So I moved in.
I sat down beside her and we started talking.
I was soon to be kicked out by the returning owner of the seat I'd borrowed but Nadine came over to my table to finish, "catching up." Then the program resumed and then after the program people came over and all started talking to me and ruined my chance to swap phone numbers.
But Lauren will return from the Dominican and then...
Then I might ask for a phone number and then I might get together for fun a couple times over the summer before she goes back to school.
Otherwise, this will be an isolated event meant only to let you know that killer smiles are worth a lot of points. Possibly showing interest in me is worth points too, but that's separate. Anyway, this story is nothing serious or likely meaningful, and doesn't remove any other interests. It doesn't change the fact that I don't mind being single either.
So after the wedding I went dancing with Nick & RJ, and the other 4 people who came along left right away. Why? I don't know. I left early because I was exhausted already and had to wake up at 6:30. Which I did, and went off with Jason to Heart Creek. Then we hiked Heart Mountain, and decided to go on to another mountain, and then to a higher peak, and then back to the first peak and then down the side of the mountain, which took forever and was never easy. I do have to say that the crazy free-climbing I did was exhilarating if incredibly stupid. The walk along the creek at the end was very peaceful and the whole trek was good old Jason always encourages me when we get together because he's a good guy and he loves God.
So the 6 plus hours of outdoor action and beauty over, it was time for fun and social mixing at RJ's bbq. And lots of meat. Salmon, Dogs, Burgers, Chicken Kebobs. Slushies. And finally I went home, which brings me back to Monday.
This week while Kyle is gone I get to do Back Framing, and Basements, and Pre-Build, and starting the next house. Well maybe not all of those. Everything's taking so long. Monday I realized that the rest I was hoping for wouldn't be gained by not working on a slide show.
So I haven't been listening to the radio during the day. But I've become very frustrated when things go wrong. So I've read my Bible anyway and each time it's been so good despite not feeling like it. But it doesn't last. The frustration and exhaustion return.
But I'm not doing bad. If you asked me how I was I'd still give you the automatic and honest good. Maybe just not as enthusiastically as when I don't chainsaw through floor joists accidentally.
And yes I'm going to stay hiding. My room still isn't clean.
The list of people to hang out with is too daunting.
I'm so strange.
I look at my blogs and think, there's hardly any comments, and want them. And I turn on my phone, and hope for calls from friends. But I got a txt message from Cyler saying that people were going to see a movie tonight and I didn't go. I didn't want to see the movie. I didn't want to do anything for that matter.
And so I'm a curious mix of being exhausted and empty, and lonely, and dreading people.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
You Need A Party
It's about time for a party at RJ's house, and it wouldn't be the same without you, no not at all. As I recall, you've got what I need.
Dun dun dun [insert rocking out]
Um, so anyways... There's a BBQ at RJ's on Sunday afternoon starting around 4ish. It's BYO all things B, especially brocolli.
So you should go. Because I will be there, and then I will get to see you. And you should bring other people.
His # is 60-64-7-38 (isn't it cool how the 4, 7, and 3 are all subfont? No? Well no I suppose not, but this way no one will be able to skim and notice a phone number and start stalking him right? No? Well too bad for him I guess).
What about my # you say? Well why don't you have it already? Hmmm? And why haven't you been using it more frequently? Hmmm?
HOORAY - What a great day Sunday will be. I'm hiking the Heart (since I never got to finish it the first time I went last year) with my friend Jason who's been hiking Sunday mornings until his hiking friend moved. But Sunday I will no longer be bondaged Nolan and I can do cool things like go hiking with friends.
Saturday will be a great day too. Wedding extravaganza!
Friday will be a great day too because I'm going to finish the slide show in record time and still have left overs so I can go buy something to wear to the wedding before stores close. Maybe I'll even call Jenn and see if she wants to come since she lives close to a certain outlet mall that has a formal wear store - of course it is a long weekend and she should be out having fun but I have a cell phone so I can at least try right?
Dun dun dun [insert rocking out]
Um, so anyways... There's a BBQ at RJ's on Sunday afternoon starting around 4ish. It's BYO all things B, especially brocolli.
So you should go. Because I will be there, and then I will get to see you. And you should bring other people.
His # is 60-64-7-38 (isn't it cool how the 4, 7, and 3 are all subfont? No? Well no I suppose not, but this way no one will be able to skim and notice a phone number and start stalking him right? No? Well too bad for him I guess).
What about my # you say? Well why don't you have it already? Hmmm? And why haven't you been using it more frequently? Hmmm?
HOORAY - What a great day Sunday will be. I'm hiking the Heart (since I never got to finish it the first time I went last year) with my friend Jason who's been hiking Sunday mornings until his hiking friend moved. But Sunday I will no longer be bondaged Nolan and I can do cool things like go hiking with friends.
Saturday will be a great day too. Wedding extravaganza!
Friday will be a great day too because I'm going to finish the slide show in record time and still have left overs so I can go buy something to wear to the wedding before stores close. Maybe I'll even call Jenn and see if she wants to come since she lives close to a certain outlet mall that has a formal wear store - of course it is a long weekend and she should be out having fun but I have a cell phone so I can at least try right?
First Step To Monastic?
So this is the prayer I was given by Ricardo. It's a written prayer, and I've been praying it mostly daily. Do I detect a hint of discipline? It's always so much more than this when I pray - mostly because I take the liberty of including most everyone I know as my household. Kyle asked for it so I finally typed it out. I should take the advice I gave him and make it my own. Nolanify it.
Daily Warfare Prayer
I cover myself and my entire household in the blood of Jesus, body, soul and spirit. I cover with the blood of Jesus our home, vehicles, pets, possessions, our ministry, employees, every word we speak, hear, write or read and everything that concerns us. And in the name of Jesus I request and dispatch angelic protection for us and our children and everything that God has graciously given us. (Heb. 9:14; Eph. 2:13; Rev. 12:11)
I bind our minds and our children’s minds to the mind of Christ, our will to his will, and our emotions to his emotions, in Jesus’ name. I give all our burdens to the Lord and receive from Him everything pertaining to life and godliness. (1 Peter 5:7; 2 Peter 1:3)
Now in the name of Jesus, I put on the full armor of God…
I put on the helmet of salvation and command every thought of doubt and unbelief to bounce off of it!
I put on the righteousness of Christ as a breastplate and prohibit every unclean thing from entering my heart!
I buckle the belt of truth around me and forbid every lie of the enemy from entering my life!
I take up the shield of faith to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the enemy!
I put on the eagerness to spread the gospel of peace as my shoes!
I cling to the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God, and use it to inflict God’s vengeance on all His enemies! (Ephesians 6:13-18)
And I wrap the zeal of my God around me like a cloak! (Isaiah 59:17)
I am strong in the Lord and in His mighty power! (Ephesians
I stand firm going from victory to victory in Christ! (1 Corinthians
In the mighty name of Jesus I take authority over every curse, hex, spell, jinx, incantation, judgment, and attack of the enemy issued against us and everything that concerns us. I bind up and destroy the power of them in Jesus’ name and I render them useless, powerless, and completely ineffective. I bind up and destroy the power of everything done with photos, potions, objects, written, spoken, and in every other way. In Jesus’ name bind up everything issued against us by everyone practicing witchcraft, along with the demons that sent them, and command them to go now where the Lord Jesus sends them – out of our lives forever. I put the blood of Jesus between them and us. I send a blessing to everyone who has cursed us. I release all judgments and unforgiveness against everyone and I bless them.
And now in the name of Jesus I loose blessing, peace, prosperity, holiness, health and every good and perfect gift that comes from our Heavenly Father to us and our children forever. In the name of Jesus I now prohibit every counter attack from the enemy and throw into confusion all his plans against us! (Luke 10:19; James 1:17)
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Fixing Big Things You Don't Understand
So Converge on Sunday...
I had a goal beforehand. Back in the day, I used to sit with friends at church. It just makes sense. Worship God together with friends. Learn stuff together with friends. Pray together with friends. Why wouldn't you hang out with friends at church?
But at Epic there's always this ambiguous moment when I arrive about where to go.
So beforehand I decided I would go sit with the UMers. So I walked in, zeroed in on Andrea and sat down.
Adam & Crystal were leading worship. The first song was good, but as I had been backpacking, and I was fairly relaxed, I didn't feel the necessity to stand up. The second song though said Arise! Arise! So it seems rather silly to stay seated to such statements. Up I go. It's going pretty good. I've just come back from a fantastic weekend camping with friends and God. The songs are full of truth.
But then Crystal stops us. She doesn't want to worship alone. She knows a lot of us are feeling kind of blase or distracted but we need to worship God together. So let's just stop and listen to him.
Ah yes, I guess that noisy chatter during the worship, would have implied that other people could have been distracted...
Hooray for listening though.
God's been trying to tell Epic to learn how to listen for years now and we're still not done.
So I start listening.
First thing I get is the impression/desire for everyone to go up to the front. That gets casually dismissed as I move onto other thoughts. After all. I've thought it before. I've tried to instigate it before with failure. So it barely registered, and was quickly forgotten until later on in this story.
The second thing is some of the truths that God spoke so loudly while I was camping are screaming to be prayed over us. Where 2 or 3 are gathered together in my name... We're gathered people. He's here.
There was more, and I had the burning desire to go up to the front and pray them. And I was ready. But hey, we're listening. And as I said, God wants Epic to listen. So praise him for this opportunity. I'm not going to rush it.
Damien(sp?) came up and shared a couple things. Good things. Resting in God. God gave me something for him to be prayed later.
Then Chad came up and shared what he was feeling. It was kind of opposite what I was getting but he's part of leadership and I NEED to respect authority, and besides it wasn't bad, it was still good. I didn't think much of it. It just kind of overruled me praying anything. So we went back to singing and the songs were great. So much truth and it was so good to sing to Jesus.
Jim's Swiss buddy spoke and it was great. Really great.
Then it was over.
I went out with Damien and Cherize(sp?) and Megan afterwards. We ended up at Cajun Charlies, and drumming and dancing in public and getting shut down rather quickly with some noise unappreciation.
So while driving Megan, Converge came up. She was disappointed with Epic tonight.
For a couple reasons, but one thing I'll mention here.
When we listened, she felt like there was a giant rock crushing us. Stopping us. We needed to go up to the front and be together. We were too spread out.
But Chad had basically said the opposite and then it was over. No room for anyone else to share what they had heard, listening.
This struck me obviously, because God had said the same thing, but I hadn't payed close attention.
Her frustration was also hard.
I have so much pity for leadership. There's such huge expectations placed on them and they're not perfect, just normal.
I've read Growing In The Prophetic by Mike Bickle. In it he basically shares his church's long arduous process of learning about how to incorporate the prophetic in the church. That sentence sounds really lame. But it was huge. Huge for me. Very smart. So much wisdom gained from years of experience and mistakes and hurt and victories and God.
But there's no structure in Converge.
And I've seen people hurt because of it. And I wonder.
I wonder.
Should I bring it up?
With who?
How?
I really don't understand it all.
I'm not an expert.
It's just that people are getting hurt.
So couldn't we look at it a little?
And right now I'm busy. Really busy. Too busy to organize anything. Too busy to think of anything.
So couldn't we just bring it up at Converge maybe?
Have a less than annual church meeting?
Anyway, Dave offered some fairly sound advice to the specific thing I mentioned. If you hear something from God opposite of someone else. Say something. Ask the group if anyone else is getting the same thing.
Sorry for the lack of concisity.
I had a goal beforehand. Back in the day, I used to sit with friends at church. It just makes sense. Worship God together with friends. Learn stuff together with friends. Pray together with friends. Why wouldn't you hang out with friends at church?
But at Epic there's always this ambiguous moment when I arrive about where to go.
So beforehand I decided I would go sit with the UMers. So I walked in, zeroed in on Andrea and sat down.
Adam & Crystal were leading worship. The first song was good, but as I had been backpacking, and I was fairly relaxed, I didn't feel the necessity to stand up. The second song though said Arise! Arise! So it seems rather silly to stay seated to such statements. Up I go. It's going pretty good. I've just come back from a fantastic weekend camping with friends and God. The songs are full of truth.
But then Crystal stops us. She doesn't want to worship alone. She knows a lot of us are feeling kind of blase or distracted but we need to worship God together. So let's just stop and listen to him.
Ah yes, I guess that noisy chatter during the worship, would have implied that other people could have been distracted...
Hooray for listening though.
God's been trying to tell Epic to learn how to listen for years now and we're still not done.
So I start listening.
First thing I get is the impression/desire for everyone to go up to the front. That gets casually dismissed as I move onto other thoughts. After all. I've thought it before. I've tried to instigate it before with failure. So it barely registered, and was quickly forgotten until later on in this story.
The second thing is some of the truths that God spoke so loudly while I was camping are screaming to be prayed over us. Where 2 or 3 are gathered together in my name... We're gathered people. He's here.
There was more, and I had the burning desire to go up to the front and pray them. And I was ready. But hey, we're listening. And as I said, God wants Epic to listen. So praise him for this opportunity. I'm not going to rush it.
Damien(sp?) came up and shared a couple things. Good things. Resting in God. God gave me something for him to be prayed later.
Then Chad came up and shared what he was feeling. It was kind of opposite what I was getting but he's part of leadership and I NEED to respect authority, and besides it wasn't bad, it was still good. I didn't think much of it. It just kind of overruled me praying anything. So we went back to singing and the songs were great. So much truth and it was so good to sing to Jesus.
Jim's Swiss buddy spoke and it was great. Really great.
Then it was over.
I went out with Damien and Cherize(sp?) and Megan afterwards. We ended up at Cajun Charlies, and drumming and dancing in public and getting shut down rather quickly with some noise unappreciation.
So while driving Megan, Converge came up. She was disappointed with Epic tonight.
For a couple reasons, but one thing I'll mention here.
When we listened, she felt like there was a giant rock crushing us. Stopping us. We needed to go up to the front and be together. We were too spread out.
But Chad had basically said the opposite and then it was over. No room for anyone else to share what they had heard, listening.
This struck me obviously, because God had said the same thing, but I hadn't payed close attention.
Her frustration was also hard.
I have so much pity for leadership. There's such huge expectations placed on them and they're not perfect, just normal.
I've read Growing In The Prophetic by Mike Bickle. In it he basically shares his church's long arduous process of learning about how to incorporate the prophetic in the church. That sentence sounds really lame. But it was huge. Huge for me. Very smart. So much wisdom gained from years of experience and mistakes and hurt and victories and God.
But there's no structure in Converge.
And I've seen people hurt because of it. And I wonder.
I wonder.
Should I bring it up?
With who?
How?
I really don't understand it all.
I'm not an expert.
It's just that people are getting hurt.
So couldn't we look at it a little?
And right now I'm busy. Really busy. Too busy to organize anything. Too busy to think of anything.
So couldn't we just bring it up at Converge maybe?
Have a less than annual church meeting?
Anyway, Dave offered some fairly sound advice to the specific thing I mentioned. If you hear something from God opposite of someone else. Say something. Ask the group if anyone else is getting the same thing.
Sorry for the lack of concisity.
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