Sherry's Phonetically Translated Post Translated By Nolan

I am that person... you know the one

Okay random... everything I type is changing into a different language on the screen right before my eyes and I don`t know what language it is... it looks like some Indian language perhaps?? I am not sure if my blog will come out in English or something foreign to us all. Hooo boy! we`re in for a surprise puyet itar.
I was just going to say that I am the person that we have all encountered in Canada who is learning English, the one who doesn't yet have all of the tenses correct and says things like, "I am went to the store (using the word that means a grocery store) yesterday for to bought soy me for"... or something like that!! I have said some pretty funny things I am pretty darned sure. I was trying to tell my French "mom" who is a 37 year old hot, chique, cool woman, that she is welcome to come to Calgary anytime!! what I ended up saying was that she is welcome sometimes - not anytime... just sometimes... like perhaps only on Sundays. Anyhow... we all laughed until we couldn`t breathe and then some more. More like until I almost peed my pants. So funny. But.... nechsassito!!! Anyhow... I`m out like trout. later skaters.

[wasn't sure about puyet itar or nechsassito, but nechsassito should be a word. It looks like lots of fun]
No I will not translate anyone else's posts if you go into your global settings and turn on the Hindi button. Manually converting every word and then figuring it out might have been fun this time... but nechsassito!!!
Note: chique and soy were dubious conversions.

Sherry's Hindi post, translated phonetically by blogger

ई eum thaat parason...yoo knov the van...

okay random...yeverything ई taaeep is changing into अ diphpherent language on the skriin raaeet bephore may yeyes nd ई don`त knov vahat language it is...it lookas like som indiyan language perhaps?? ई eum not sur iph may blog vil kom aaut in inglish or something phoren to us al। hooo boy! vii`re in phor अ surprise puyet itar। ई vaas just going to say thaat ई eum the parason thaat vii have al lenkoutnered in kanaadaa vho is liirning inglish। the van vho desan`त yet have al ophthe tenses korrecht nd says things like, "ई eum vent to the stor (using the vard thaat maans अ grosary stor) yesterday phor to bought shoye me phor"... or someting like thaat!! ई have said som pretty phunny thiin jas ई eum pretty darned sur। ई vaas trying to tel may phrench "mom" vho is अ 37 year old hot, chik, kool vooman, thaat she is velkome to kom to kaalgaary anytime!! vahat ई inded up saying vaas thaat she is velkome sometimes। not anytime...just sometimes...like perhaps onalii on sundays। anyhov...vii al loughed until vii kouldan`त breathe nd then som more। more like until ई almost ped may pants। so phunny। but....nechsassito!!! anyhov...ई`म aaut like trout। letar skaters.

Extracting to Examine the Empty

I felt the need to write earlier, although now, not as much, but still I shall.

Pulling apart the whole to connect pieces differently.

Blue Milk. This morning I opened the fridge and glanced in the door, some strange juice, rest of the fridge... no milk, second glance in the door, that is the milk... I then laugh out loud and exclaim, they're awesome, and then apologize to Jamie who walks around the corner since I realize I am being loud early in the morning. It turned my puffed wheat and sliced bananas blue too.

My Dentist appointment today went well. I have great teeth, however upon having some x-rays, just in case, there is decay going on and I need 4 fillings. So next week and 3 weeks later I get to come back. That wasn't the exciting part. I enjoyed asking about the Fluoride treatments and learning about them, because, I like learning things. The significant part though is that this was the last day for them in that office. I have been going there since I was four years old I'm sure. The receptionist knows and likes my whole family. It was her last day since she is retiring. The dentist will retire shortly after a brief transition period to his friend's practice. It was their last day, and I missed praying for them. I kind of said goodbye and stuff, and then she wished me luck, and I didn't even give them a God bless. Why not? So as I was driving away, I said sorry because I missed it, and then I prayed for them anyway.

Starry-Eyed-Surprise by Paul Oakenfold is a great song. I can picture being at Converge one evening and James let me listen to it on his mp3 player, and it was probably during a sermon or something downstairs, and I was leaning up against a wall, and grooving to the music. Because dancing is one good way to worship God. I found the CD super cheap in Seattle and it made its way to my stereo today. That song probably made its way to my stereo a couple of times, and I danced, rather enthusiastically in my seat. And I thought to myself, I really enjoy dancing while driving. And remember, dancing is one good way to worship God.

I didn't need to bring a shirt to work today. It was that warm the whole time. On the one hand I think, mmmm this is when it's hard to complain about my job. On the other hand it scares the hell out of me knowing that winter will return all too quickly.

90.3 FM is a great radio station. It is probably the first great radio station I have ever listened too. They have a big enough playlist that they don't feel the need to repeat songs 5 times a day, every day. In fact after listening to them for a week, I continue to hear songs I have never heard before, artists I have never heard before, and they're good songs. They also seem to play more music than other stations because I barely notice the commercials.

Matt Good was apparently diagnosed as having Bi-polar disorder. He has a new CD coming out this summer. A few weeks ago I became re-fixated with his Avalanche CD. It is a good album, although tragic. But it sparks ponderment.

I randomly thought of Jenn whilst driving home and called her up to see how she was doing. She was busy with a bingo but not busy enough to keep her from asking me how I was doing and what I was up to this weekend. She then recommended that I be a jerk and become less popular, and learn to say no to people. It sounded like Jesus.

He talked today too. During prayer tonight, people were taking turns praying, and Rebekah was praying for Jamie and prayed that he would never lose his imagination or dreams of what he really wanted. And I self-focusedly thought, what is in my imagination and dreams? And I thought of old things like prophesying to a million people. So I said, I want to do that God. Then I thought, no wait - I'm exhausted and drained right now - maybe not. Maybe I just want to be selfish and hear you talk to me for me. Maybe I just want to imagine us being really close friends. Maybe I should take more time to listen to you because I love it when you speak. Then I thought, why can't I listen right now while we're praying? So I stopped and listened. And I heard birds singing. And then I remembered that birds singing was a sign between me and God, and it's one of his ways of saying I love you. And I thought, aw, how sweet. Thanks. Then I prayed out loud thanking him and the bird stopped singing for 5 minutes, and I was mildly amused like it had just been for me, but after people started praying again the birds resumed singing.

I came home and avoided talking to people. I went straight for a cold shower. Then I avoided stewing and went straight for the kitchen because eating is a good way to stave off grumpiness. Then I got caught up in the fun of thanking people for blue milk and eating pizza that had been baked on wax paper. Lots of good things. But I knew I was still very drained. Empty. RJ knew something was wrong and asked, but I couldn't say what was wrong. I wasn't sure yet. And I don't like being down with other people. Because usually it will pause and wait or even go away around other people.

I wrote Sherry a super quick email today. Quick because I didn't have any time. But it irked me. Because I would rather have not been empty and came up with clever compliments. Instead I was honest and wrote, I am empty. Which I really didn't want to. Because who wants to write things and then not explain them.

I made myself a slushie. It was just going to be ice cubes and a frozen Five Alive, but Andy gave me a prickly pear present. It was nice. It was so hot in our house.

I am not good at relaxing. I operate in high gear all the time. I have a hundred things on my to-do list and a hundred more that I can't remember right now. I'm pretty good at ignoring those things because it's not healthy to be a workaholic, but I'm still not very relaxed because I know what needs to get done, and what I want to get done - because a lot of those things are also from the abundance of creative ideas I have. Andrea recently saw The Science Of Sleep and loved it. Finally someone gets me! She exclaimed. I really liked that movie too.

I do not take criticism well. I think it's because I am scarily self-critical. And I also criticize myself all the time from other people's point of view. So even if you aren't criticizing me. I've had you doing it in my head. And it builds up until if you do say something, even if it's small, it really hurts. It's not fair, and it's not healthy.

So my emptiness. Hmm, well it kind of feels as if I were in a garbage compactor. And normally that would be stressful as it closes in and the pressure mounts. But I'm too tired and spent to act very stressed, so I pretend I can't see any garbage, and then it doesn't need to be compacted. But it whispers.

I need to wake up at 5 and it's after 11. Half day tomorrow! Chasey's grad tomorrow! Pizza for breakfast and possibly a smoothie made in the furnace room tomorrow!

Time and Children

"This is what I have seen to be good: it is fitting to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of the life God gives us; for this is our lot. Likewise all to whom God gives wealth and possessions and whom he enables to enjoy them, and to accept their lot and find enjoyment in their toil - this is the gift of God. For they will scarcely brood over the days of their lives, because God keeps them occupied with the joy of their hearts."

"With many dreams come vanities and a multitude of words; but fear God."

"There is nothing better for mortals than to eat and drink, and find enjoyment in their toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God; for apart from him who can eat or who can have enjoyment?"

"Go, eat your bread with enjoyment, and drink your wine with a merry heart; for God has long ago approved what you do. Let your garments always be white; do not let oil be lacking on your head. Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that are given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do with your might"

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace."

Time is key. There is always tension for time, and that is essential.

Andy wrote me a brief note saying hi to everyone from sunny Malta with Marty & Kari, and that he had been praying for me and Time kept coming up.
How appropriate since I had been praying about it that very day.
But I'm no smarter yet, except that prayer last night was precious and the times I quiet myself and listen and give God my focus are rewarding to say the least.
I'm off to Seattle, now as 4 instead of 2.
I had today off even though I didn't think the weather warranted it. I was however mysteriously bagged and still feel like it even though I went back to bed this morning for awhile.

Want to hear my half-conscious thoughts from lying in bed? Well you can't because I don't have my microphone or my computer set up to record, and I don't have a time machine to go back, and I wasn't talking out loud then anyway.

I think, after investigating new music again, that I still crave to hear music that fits me. And so I thought about how sad it is that The Juliana Theory is no more, but there is a time for everything, and then I thought about my prophetic words in California, and how I probably won't ever hear music that fits me until I create it, and then I thought about timing, and how I still don't have the drive to learn everything I need to in my spare time, and then I thought of JLYS and hanging out with the kids, and wondered if music might possibly hold their attention for ten minutes, obviously we would need to have actions, and then I thought, even if it couldn't (those kids are wild, and I'm well aware of the natural craziness of children), all things are possible with prayer, and it's pandemonium anyway, so why not a musical gong show for a little bit? Maybe it's time Ryan got his groove, and taught the kids how to dance (private joke because Ryan stoutly doubts his ability to ever dance). Maybe it's time the kids taught Ryan how to dance.
Kids are great though. Baharen asked me how old I was about 5 times (we played guessing games sometimes and he guessed 20, older, 61, younger, etc...) but by the end of the night he had memorized my age at 23, and Ryan's at 28. While for some reason I don't think Ryan is 28, that is what he said yes to when asked, so that's what Baharen memorized.
He also sat in my lap during story time (don't you dare picture a bunch of quiet kids sitting around listening, instead picture that likely zero of those kids caught any of the story, but did catch Kyler yell a cheer at the end and ask if the kids would love their siblings more now).
I gave piggy back rides during doctor dodgeball. I swung kids around in circles until their feet tingled and their shoulders almost popped. I NEEDED the water at snack time. I entertained 5 kids' attention at the same time including watching Ashley tap dance, without tapping shoes, but still being remarkably loud and frenetic with her heeled dress sandals and playing dodgeball (after dodgeball was over) with one boy who made me do jumping jacks if I got hit.

I know what you're thinking - that's why he's bagged this morning. Well, hmm, I don't believe that, but I don't have any other suggestions.

Go enjoy something.

oh and all the quotes were from Ecclesiastes.

Pinch Me

I went rock climbing with Ian on Saturday and upon hearing that I was dating Sherry he asked if I was saving up for a ring yet.
On Sunday while delivering fridges RJ commented from a discussion he'd had with someone else about how he was mentally preparing himself for me being married next summer.

And somehow it triggered something.

I remember driving to work at some point in the last two weeks. I can picture the road and the bend and the trees. When a random thought came along and hit me. God's given me an awesome gift. I am dating an incredible girl. And the thought wanted to turn around and run. As if it weren't allowed.
I wasn't sure what was going on in my head but I chased some notions.
The significant other thing is a big deal, for everyone. If you keep it at arm's length for a long time; if you resolve not to force it to happen, to go hunt it down; if you trust that God will bring it along in his good timing and choice, when he does, perhaps you don't know quite what to do with it. Perhaps you're to used to thanking God that he will bring her along, and you need to break the habit of using the word will.

Or perhaps you question whether you're allowed to say it's arrived. You don't want to jinx it by rejoicing too early. After all, I dated someone else for over a year before she decided she'd never loved me. Tragedies befall other people. Their hearts get broken. Who am I to assume I should escape such commonalities.

At such humbling 'looking down' moments I am so very glad of God. That he gives me counsel, and I trust him. Because when your brain finally grasps that what is to come, you are totally unprepared for, it's good to know someone who is, is holding your hand.

Good Listening

So yet again I received a comment on being a good listener today. First of all, I'm not half as good as I'd like to be. Second of all, I'm sure it stems from so many people being bad listeners, so my motivation could be all twisted. So when I receive related comments about not talking very much, it makes me think of how many times people only listen to what you're saying, waiting for something or some way they can interject. So I suppose waiting is all wrong in that last statement. They don't wait at all. They interrupt as fast as they can with their own story or opinion. But I guess you're lucky if you can find people who will do that. Lots of other people will not let you get any comments in and will hog all attention for as long as there's opportunity. Still more people will make you feel the worst by glazing their eyes when you get into your second sentence letting you know they couldn't care less about what you have to say, and depending on how loud they're feeling, they will either walk away and leave you to cry, or pretend you don't exist and start talking over top of you.

All this to say, that if I'm a good listener occasionally, and I will let you talk on and on and listen to all you have to say, what will God do? He'll probably do something similar if he's not angry with you, which is why I don't hear him as much as I could; it's hard for me to shut up while praying. As for that angry thing, well I just read the first half of Ezekiel out loud today (no I'm not super Bible boy, Jason asked me to in support of a group of international intercessory people who are reading the Bible in a week as a group - then on Wednesday they're reading it in an hour), and sometimes when people come to consult the prophet to inquire of God, God asks intimidating questions. Questions like, "will I answer to them when they have brought idols into their hearts?" Then he has a couple of answers to his own questions. Sometimes he says no I will not. Other times he says yes I've got something to say - Repent!

Musical Lures, 'Hobbies', and a Kit Kat moment

http://www.tweakheadz.com

The itch, oh the itch.

Last week Nicoletta asked me what I do when I'm not working. I thought about it, and I say, "yes." People call me up or I run into them, and they ask me questions. The answer is always yes. Can you help me with? Want to go here? Those sorts of questions. And I know a lot of people. Hence I am never without a supply of questions that I can say yes to. The outcome is a relatively unscheduled life that is always busy. So basically, work, then chores/responsibilities, then yes dictate my time. Actually chores/responsibilities often falls after yes. I don't know if a lot of people's lives look like this or not. But mine has been this way a long time, and I don't know if I could change it.

Today I got to Wicked Gravity to buy climbing shoes and there was an out to lunch be back at 1:30 note. How refreshing to see such a note! Those kinds of things can still happen in Bowness. So what should I do with my unexpected 30 minutes? I will go for a walk in the direction of that hill over there and talk to God about my Monday Doom & Gloom discussion. So I prayed and asked him to bring to mind the things that have bothered me about the house in the last year. I really enjoyed the walk, the greenness, the houses I passed, the peace, God speaking. It was a nice 30 minute break. So close shop today and make someone's day.

Ministry of Holding One's Tongue

Heart filling with hate, then renewed, filled again with God's love

OK, so normally (forget normal - my previous intentions were) I should be jetting to bed, but I felt God reminding me of establishing things through writing, so I'm going to try and get some of the last two days down here.

Yesterday, Tuesday was a bad day. I'm not quite sure why, the weather was nice enough, I got to listen to Peter & The Wolf on the classical station at work (my personal highlight), nothing was wrong. However I felt bombarded with negative thoughts. I hated myself. I'm a terrible framer. I would fire me if I was on the flip side for spacing out and taking too long and still making dumb mistakes on a frequent basis. Mosquitoes are evil and alive. Driving was an exercize in anger. Thinking about the house and the um, I was getting depressed and bleak too. Upon arriving home, I let a note on the board irk me, and I angrily set about doing dishes. All this time I was fighting it. I knew it was bad and wrong and that I needed a whole lot of opposite. I keep listening to Avalanche by Matt Good, and I have a lot of appreciation for that album, I don't think I used to. It's very good though his happiness is still a tragic sort.
There were good thoughts in there too. For instance I thought about house dinners and how I miss them being better attended, and more organized. But then I thought, even if it's only RJ around, they're still worthwhile.
Anyway, I stayed on target thanks to the help of some friends and went to bed at 9. Yes, nine. Unimaginable to be sure, which is why when I woke up the first time, perhaps at 1:30 AM or so, I thought it was time to get up. Thankfully it was not.
OK I need to speed along this process. RJ snoring crazy. Dreams. Wake up again. Turn on vapourizer. Dream some more. Get up. Breakfast/morning stuff alone, weird, since Pam was not around. Had a Delirious song stuck in my head and eagerly grabbed some of their CDs for driving. Dropped off RJ. Enjoyed King or Cripple. Prayed. Prayed that God would renew my mind. Recognized that Tuesday was a spiritual attack of sorts, that I've felt that before and that I have to press in with thanksgiving and that other people were facing the same thing.
Today was good. Maybe some of that can be attributed to extra sleep and having bug spray. But I was still tired and sick as far as the extra sleep goes. And I still hate mosquitoes. Maybe I was looking forward to JLYS. But no, it was more than that. Much more. It was God renewing my mind. Which was good. So while previously I was thinking about asking the house for prayer. By the time I talked to Kirk, I was ready to pray. Yes I talked to Kirk and fancy that but he was dealing with a few similar symptoms. So after JLYS, which I thoroughly enjoyed, we came back, had some blackberry gelotti(sp?) (yes this is the 5th day of cheating on my no desert month) and prayed. I started listening while Pam showed off her hat to Andrea, and had a few things already when Kirk started praying. I always enjoy when he prays. Today was no exception. And now, this is important. This is why I wanted to write in the first place. What did I pray? Because God led me through things. The prayer was alive.
I prayed that he would have discernment. That he would recognize the things of God and the things that are not, but most importantly that God would give him supernatural wisdom to understand the things that are both, because they're mysterious and require divine understanding.
I prayed that the words of Christ would rule in his heart and that the peace that comes from Christ would guide him. That as he looks at the different activities and pieces of his life, that Jesus would share his thoughts and opinions on the matter. That God would teach Kirk to recognize that peace, so he doesn't confuse it with himself settling on a matter for awhile.
I prayed for protection. Faith will be needed in every battle. Not how much, in whom. Which always connects me to the helmet of salvation. Jesus is our salvation. The helmet is for our head. I thanked God that he is the head of the relationship. The scripture out of Ephesians 5 was at play in my spirit. He is the leader, the organizer, the instigator, the visionary. The father, the husband, looking after his family and friends.

I prayed about the UM and the house. Right off the bat God reminded me that they were his ideas. Oh yes, I remember the vision/thing in Brighton for the house. I remember his work and smiles revealing his involvement behind the UM itself.
Ah, what a relief. He will see them through. He will be creative.
I prayed that we would be attentive to what he has to say, and obedient. John 17 came back again. Jesus' prayers for us. That the world would recognize him because of our love for one another. That we would be as close and tight, as to be compared with the trinity. That we would be that close to God.

Kirk prayed a great many good things too. We'll see if he remembers them and/or writes them down.
I however need to go brush my teeth and go to sleep. I finished Andrea's bookshelf today. Hooray.
RJ had a vision and journaled it down and shared it with us. It was encouraging and comforting to me. My favourite part was when he talked about Jesus opening his eyes again and they had love in them that came out.
You have wonderful eyes. And you look at me.
How could I not love you when you do that?

Fleur Pour Mercredi (read: No Andy, I don't have tongues yet, just pictures)

Today I woke up and got into my car, and spent a long time inside it. Yes, I always wondered what it would be like to be a professional courier, and today my curiousity was satiated. Actually I'm not sure I really wondered too much about that, but if I had, now I would know. I worked from about 9 AM to about 8:30 PM, and made 25 deliveries, one of those deliveries I got to do twice, and I got to do a phantom delivery too. I ran into the glitches of addresses not existing, and condo maze madness, and flower pot water leaking all over my car. All in all it was a good day though. I mean basically I cooked in my car all day with lots of pretty smells, and making women happy, except when I had to deliver flowers to neighbours since the recipient wasn't home and then they got their hopes up and dashed. I listened to the CD Sherry made me twice, and several other CDs. I ate a donair. I ripped open my injured finger on my seat belt and got to buy band-aids in a near by gas station while sucking on the blood spurting finger. I pondered things and called people a bunch arranging art project production, and hang out time, and an impromptu birthday party. I drank two slurpees. I got very angry and frustrated and impatient, and then had to cool down and pray and thank and praise, and then go back to being frustrated again, etc. Which is why my art project will be so personal. Four letters embossed underneath duct tape covering my mouth. That piece will get done tomorrow. The other two I did tonight. I got Trevor and Melissa to model for my Biting My Tongue exhibit, and Nathan and Jono modeled for the hot gossip shots.

I got to see a rough edit for half of Nathan's short film that he did a little while ago. He wants me to do the music for it too. Which is one of my goals for the next 6 weeks. I have oodles of projects for the next 6 weeks. Some of them are tied to why I have 6 weeks to work on projects, so I won't talk about them, but others include, getting sleep (so far no good), strengthening my knee more (yes my exercize bike is finally ready), writing & recording music, lectio divinas, getting a hair cut, going to Seattle with RJ, rock climbing, hiking, biking, camping, probably working long hours, rule of life building, hanging out with friends and family, eating more grapefruits, JLYSing, singing, writing, cleaning my room and filing, fasting, reading.

So most of those really aren't projects, but I'm tired, and I need to wake up in time to go do a photo shoot before I head up to party with my grandma on her 80th.

Haze

It is now 11:32 PM Friday night and I am at home and the house is virtually empty. Soul Sister, Brown Sugar, by the Commodores is playing (following MxPx's Doing Time). My throat isn't fairing well, but it is definitely scoring points for coming through because I could still sing with Andy in the car coming home from 'band practice'. That Andy, so wild, would you believe he went four by fouring in a borrowed car with guitars and amps inside?

It was a good night. We dropped off Ryan at the airport, then stopped at Morgan's (I think?) some restaurant in Andy's vintage stomping grounds in the North (not that he'd been there before). I had jambalaya and listened to Andy, and got a phone call from Jason which resulted in Andy causing a scene in the restaurant laughing so hard, which was doubly funny for me because Jason was dying on the phone too. Playing guitar is always pretty grand, and playing with three people who are far more talented than yourself makes it better. RJ got me presents. You'd think this was my birthday and not his next weekend.

"God he gave you a voice, then use it." - Lullaby for the New World Order by Matt Good
It's playing right now, and wow, what a line.


Breathless

I had a clever line in mind driving home today.
It's gone now, and trying to write anything vaguely poetic isn't helping, or happening.
I only blow out blood into kleenex today.

Oh how do I explain life right now?

I've noticed that I often think I feel busy, and behind. If I had a minute I would write down my To Do list and then it would help me remember it and I wouldn't have to drain my brain power remembering the things I need to focus on. Today I thought, hmm what if I had all day tomorrow to play catch up, and then I took a double-take at the sheer foolishness of such a thing. I would get terribly bored before finishing one of them and then I'd need to do something else. But I also had another thought. I keep thinking about how unfocused I am in life right now. How it feels like I'm always doing things and they fly past in a blur and somehow I'm always occupied and I don't even have the chance to, to what? To notice, to understand, to take more out of, to build on? I'm not sure. But today I wondered, has it ever not been like this? I don't know. That, "to build on," one is winning my attention. I don't know if I'm growing. I played soccer twice in the last two weeks. I haven't played soccer in seven years or so. I see family and friends play and always tell Jesus he can teach me to be a really good soccer player in heaven. But now I get to dabble in it. A splash of a tease. I'm going to be really good at a lot of things, as soon as I die. Until then I'm going to try as many different things as I can. Most of them will be exciting, and perhaps I'll tell you so. Then you can buy me a book about it for my birthday, but I'll never read it. It's already gone.

It's not that I'm down. It's just a vice of mine. To go along with eating too much (in the selfish sense, well I suppose in the gluttonous sense too) of the precious commodities (like muffins or coffee cake).

I remember hearing about Nathan & Lauren's marriage counseling, and how Nathan is bad at finishing projects he starts, how Lauren needs to help him with such things. For some reason this memory stuck with me. Likely because I am bad at finishing things. Except you wouldn't even say that, because I don't do it long enough to use terms like finish.

So that is broad. But I feel like that in a concentrated sense now. How any moment of the day, I lack any focus. It has nothing to do with being occupied with good things or bad things; valuable things, or ones beyond measuring. There are a thousand great and appreciated people, thoughts and activities in my week. Am I missing them? They appear and vanish. This happens at a startling rate, so that I don't ever ponder it, something new is in view.

Passive is a scary word. Corey used it the other day and something in my spirit knew what she meant and pricked. It was going to come up. I knew it but to translate it out of my mind was so difficult. Effort fought being eluded and lost and had to wait for someone else to say it.

What's that you say? You don't have time to read all this. You don't understand any of it anyway. Me too. Me too.

My Blog Is So Ugly It's Depressing

Yes, it's true. But I can't do anything about that right now. What do I look like? A publisher? The weather outside is frightful, but I am so delightful, at least that's what my pastor's told me, twice! So I'm guessing it's true. The next time someone asks you for someone delightful, you can point them my way.

I'd like to take a moment to highlight some things that are better to go look at than my blog right now:

1. Trevor's epic picture tale
2. Trevor's ever-amusing fruit-print
3. If you are a regular cantaloupe subscriber, go back and read this just because it's great
4. A sampling of the studio version of the band I had lots of fun seeing yesterday
5. You could borrow number four if you're close by, and remember, they're better live
6. I am now very impressed with Lovedrug's new album, instead of just impressed
7. Webcam taping of me dancing in my room after I called Kyle and we have today off

Kirk Made Me Do It

So here I am doing my homework. I have the day off after working only an hour and a half and so here I sit. So far I worked on a bookshelf for 5 minutes before being recruited to replace Andy for a couple hours at JLYS. Points if you can count how many times I've begun sentences with, "so," in the last six posts unnecessarily. I really liked the walk home. More random sentences. The only thing I could remember of my dreams this morning was that they involved food a great deal. A child gave me his left-over salad he hadn't eaten. There was some strange Mexican food chain restaurant that I think I ate guacamole at. I started reading old entries in my notebook this morning before I left for work and there was quite the variety, all of which I'd forgotten: Conversations with God; Poems; Recounting days; Prayers that made me laugh because they bring back memories of what things used to be like in the house, and before the house, and five years ago for that matter; Silly songs I made up.

The recorded lectio divinas stole my heart though. I must get me some more of that.

OK on to the readings. Psalm 25 & Hebrews 12. Since I don't have my amplified version anymore I'm going to do it online for old times' sake:

Psalm 25

[A Psalm] of David.

1UNTO YOU, O Lord, do I bring my life.

2O my God, I trust, lean on, rely on, and am confident in You. Let me not be put to shame or [my hope in You] be disappointed; let not my enemies triumph over me.

3Yes, let none who trust and wait hopefully and look for You be put to shame or be disappointed; let them be ashamed who forsake the right or deal treacherously without cause.

4Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths.

5Guide me in Your truth and faithfulness and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You [You only and altogether] do I wait [expectantly] all the day long.

6Remember, O Lord, Your tender mercy and loving-kindness; for they have been ever from of old.

7Remember not the sins (the lapses and frailties) of my youth or my transgressions; according to Your mercy and steadfast love remember me, for Your goodness' sake, O Lord.

8Good and upright is the Lord; therefore will He instruct sinners in [His] way.

9He leads the humble in what is right, and the humble He teaches His way.

10All the paths of the Lord are mercy and steadfast love, even truth and faithfulness are they for those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.

11For Your name's sake, O Lord, pardon my iniquity and my guilt, for [they are] great.

12Who is the man who reverently fears and worships the Lord? Him shall He teach in the way that he should choose.

13He himself shall dwell at ease, and his offspring shall inherit the land.

14The secret [of the sweet, satisfying companionship] of the Lord have they who fear (revere and worship) Him, and He will show them His covenant and reveal to them its [deep, inner] meaning.^(A)

15My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for He will pluck my feet out of the net.

16[Lord] turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.

17The troubles of my heart are multiplied; bring me out of my distresses.

18Behold my affliction and my pain and forgive all my sins [of thinking and doing].

19Consider my enemies, for they abound; they hate me with cruel hatred.

20O keep me, Lord, and deliver me; let me not be ashamed or disappointed, for my trust and my refuge are in You.

21Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for and expect You.

22Redeem Israel, O God, out of all their troubles.

Hebrews 12

1THEREFORE THEN, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us,

2Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God.^(A)

3Just think of Him Who endured from sinners such grievous opposition and bitter hostility against Himself [reckon up and consider it all in comparison with your trials], so that you may not grow weary or exhausted, losing heart and relaxing and fainting in your minds.

4You have not yet struggled and fought agonizingly against sin, nor have you yet resisted and withstood to the point of pouring out your [own] blood.

5And have you [completely] forgotten the divine word of appeal and encouragement in which you are reasoned with and addressed as sons? My son, do not think lightly or scorn to submit to the correction and discipline of the Lord, nor lose courage and give up and faint when you are reproved or corrected by Him;

6For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes.

7You must submit to and endure [correction] for discipline; God is dealing with you as with sons. For what son is there whom his father does not [thus] train and correct and discipline?

8Now if you are exempt from correction and left without discipline in which all [of God's children] share, then you are illegitimate offspring and not true sons [at all].^(B)

9Moreover, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we yielded [to them] and respected [them for training us]. Shall we not much more cheerfully submit to the Father of spirits and so [truly] live?

10For [our earthly fathers] disciplined us for only a short period of time and chastised us as seemed proper and good to them; but He disciplines us for our certain good, that we may become sharers in His own holiness.

11For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it [a harvest of fruit which consists in righteousness--in conformity to God's will in purpose, thought, and action, resulting in right living and right standing with God].

12So then, brace up and reinvigorate and set right your slackened and weakened and drooping hands and strengthen your feeble and palsied and tottering knees,^(C)

13And cut through and make firm and plain and smooth, straight paths for your feet [yes, make them safe and upright and happy paths that go in the right direction], so that the lame and halting [limbs] may not be put out of joint, but rather may be cured.

14Strive to live in peace with everybody and pursue that consecration and holiness without which no one will [ever] see the Lord.

15Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God's grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it--

16That no one may become guilty of sexual vice, or become a profane (godless and sacrilegious) person as Esau did, who sold his own birthright for a single meal.^(D)

17For you understand that later on, when he wanted [to regain title to] his inheritance of the blessing, he was rejected (disqualified and set aside), for he could find no opportunity to repair by repentance [what he had done, no chance to recall the choice he had made], although he sought for it carefully with [bitter] tears.^(E)

18For you have not come [as did the Israelites in the wilderness] to a [material] mountain that can be touched, [a mountain] that is ablaze with fire, and to gloom and darkness and a raging storm,

19And to the blast of a trumpet and a voice whose words make the listeners beg that nothing more be said to them.^(F)

20For they could not bear the command that was given: If even a wild animal touches the mountain, it shall be stoned to death.^(G)

21In fact, so awful and terrifying was the [phenomenal] sight that Moses said, I am terrified (aghast and trembling with fear).^(H)

22But rather, you have come to Mount Zion, even to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to countless multitudes of angels in festal gathering,

23And to the church (assembly) of the Firstborn who are registered [as citizens] in heaven, and to the God Who is Judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous (the redeemed in heaven) who have been made perfect,

24And to Jesus, the Mediator (Go-between, Agent) of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood which speaks [of mercy], a better and nobler and more gracious message than the blood of Abel [which cried out for vengeance].^(I)

25So see to it that you do not reject Him or refuse to listen to and heed Him Who is speaking [to you now]. For if they [the Israelites] did not escape when they refused to listen and heed Him Who warned and divinely instructed them [here] on earth [revealing with heavenly warnings His will], how much less shall we escape if we reject and turn our backs on Him Who cautions and admonishes [us] from heaven?

26Then [at Mount Sinai] His voice shook the earth, but now He has given a promise: Yet once more I will shake and make tremble not only the earth but also the [starry] heavens.^(J)

27Now this expression, Yet once more, indicates the final removal and transformation of all [that can be] shaken--that is, of that which has been created--in order that what cannot be shaken may remain and continue.^(K)

28Let us therefore, receiving a kingdom that is firm and stable and cannot be shaken, offer to God pleasing service and acceptable worship, with modesty and pious care and godly fear and awe;

29For our God [is indeed] a consuming fire.^(L)

Good Friday

So lately I've felt like my brain has turned to mush, intellectually speaking. I try to contemplate. I try to sort and sift and draw out organized thought and reasons. It hurts. It runs in circles and hits walls and feels like I'm listening to another language. The truth bits. They're strong. Intuition and heart and belief. But where have all the whys gone?

Last night was awesome. Well really the whole day was pretty good. I ended up going to Lisa's Good Friday service invite (I would have been late for the joint EMC one). It was cool. Meditative progression through the events and people and twists of Jesus' last days. Songs, narratives, dramatic monologues, all following an ancient 4th century church tradition of the shadow candles. Then I went out for lunch with Kirk. Kirk is always cool to hang out with, plus we got to eat Indian food! Oh yeah, and it was funny because I was probably 5 minutes late for the service and so when I went in it was all dark and I could barely see anything (especially coming in from the snow). So I stood in the back. But Kirk was late too, and probably arrived ten minutes later. So my eyes had adjusted to the dark by then (good thing I eat carrots pretty much every day) but he was blind like I had been and so when we went to sit down he crashed into the chairs and I thought, yep, this is all just a black blob to him like it was for me before.

So I went home and did some grocery shopping with RJ and then I went to my room and got weird. Now you could argue that I was just pent up and my body needed to return to equilibrium after downing a 32 oz blizzard the night before and then having buffet Indian. But whatever the reason this is how it went. First I started by reading a couple chapters of a book just returned to me in hopes of gaining direction to try and answer a question posed the day before. It only made me frustrated with how I don't really understand myself, at least enough to explain to anyone else. So then I returned to the DISC personality profiling and on a whim took the test again with new results. I scored 77 I 75 S with a negligible 19 D and 12 C. This wasn't really feeling helpful at all, so I started reading the Bible. And after restlessly reading a while in the new testament, I got stuck in 1 John. It's weird and somehow that felt better. Because my brain still wasn't working very well, but there were things in there that sounded brainless and true.

So then I got up and cranked Atticus Fault's Mary Mother song that I associate with the movie The Passion and danced wildly in my room. Then I threw on Mute Math and continued. I didn't break anything except my lungs' pride - just wait till I get my exercise bike back... And it felt good. It felt old, dancing all crazy like that, but so good. Connor came in and we threw a stuffed bunny at each other for a while, he on the top bunk, and I still going crazy.

And then it was over because we were to start the movie at 7. But it wasn't ready, so I sat on the couch, then walked to Blockbuster with Sherry who was returning a movie.

Finally we watched it. Powerful as always.

Afterwards, we had communion (which I'd been lamenting not having done recently enough just the day before to Andy). It was great. We divided up the bread and wine, and then we went around with each person, one at a time (there were 8 of us), exchanging bits of bread and clinking glasses together and praying/encouraging/making things right again amongst us. It was glorious. I loved it. I could feel Jesus smiling.
Oh and incidentally Kirk mentioned that I reminded him of John, the beloved disciple. And it was incredibly encouraging, especially given my brain mush. That Kirk, such a stand-up kind of guy.

Then it was off to Scarborough United for our hour during the prayer vigil. It too was glorious. Praying with Kirk and RJ and Wes and Andy was great. It started when Kirk read a scripture passage, and I felt that he needed to pray more in response to it. That there were things in his heart and he needed to say them. So I prayed about that, and God said, well if you want him to pray them out, you'd better pray out what's on yours. So I did just that and prayed for Kirk. And wow, I'd barely finished and he took off and it all came pouring out and it was fantastic. From there it was more and more fun. Why? Because the Holy Spirit was there and he's awesome. He gave me good things to pray and odd things to pray, and humourous things to pray. And there was tag-teamage and unity of spirit going around with friends. I love it!
Then it was back home for bed.
Kind of like right now for me.
God bless. He is risen! Oh yes! He is risen indeed!

Ten Days - Part Nine - Words of Prophecy for me

So these are the words I received at TGI as best as I remembered, which is point form.

Lover of Music
Worshiper Heart

I will play multiple instruments.

Death, death to self. Death, but there's more life.

Picture of me on a stage in front of a microphone on a stand with my guitar and no crowd. - Audience of one.

Creative.
Explorer - off the map.
A picture of a ship embarking. When you're going to explore, you're going to be gone a long time. You don't know when you'll be back.
A picture of the ship out at sea, it's sails full with wind. In this time exploring, the Holy Spirit will be the driving force.
Like all the great musicians, my music will be distinctly me, NOLAN.
The music I make will have effects in the spiritual.
God will give me new songs, he will put them in my heart.

Writing, not just song writing, but writing, is key to establishing things I learn into actually becoming part of me.

Acceleration of my abilities.
Music will bring my worship to a new level.
I am a point man, a forerunner. - Joshua & Caleb
Step up!
I am a warrior.
Cataloging, like I-Tunes - genre/artist/year/etc... - possibly connected to my writing. Cataloging it so that I and others can learn from it, search through it, connect things.


So what do you think of that? First of all, I welcome your prayers & insights into and questions about any of these. Second of all, I ask you to keep on me about these. What am I doing with them? Don't let me contradict them. If I'm whining, say hey Nolan, warriors don't whine. If I'm ignoring music, ask me what the deal is.

Ten Days - Part Eight - The Aforementioned Problem Entering Worship

Good morning Jesus, it truly is; in every sense. I love you. Yesterday in one of the sessions Graham talked about you showing us where we would be blessed next by where the enemy attacks us. In the evening session, I thought I was ready, set, go for worship. But then it started and it was a disappointment to my expectations. And I let it destroy me somehow - those unfamiliar songs, all so slow. And I knew. I knew I had to get past it and worship anyway. SO I raised my hands a while, thinking, "hands up," and, "surrender." Still my heart turned fouler. It began to curse even as I tried to bless. So I tried to sing but even there my heart didn't follow and there was no joyful noise.

Thankfully the man next to me whose baby had been the only thing seemingly wondrous enough to move me in the last 15 minutes came alongside and asked if he could pray for me. In quick acknowledgment I answered "that would be good," in an ugly but accepting tone. So he prayed and prayed and then he asked if it was hard engaging in worship.
Yes.
What do you feel?
Nothing.
You need to get past that somehow. I was having a hard time too but there's something there in the spirit and you have to worship even if you feel nothing.

Glad that God had shared my plight with him, but still in the same predicament, I wondered how I should try again.
Then he came over again and asked if I remembered the morning session? How important it is to be thankful. Start with that even if you have to repeat the same thing.

So I did of course! The light had come back. Of course I knew that to be true. Within minutes I was crying and in the peace, and love. Oh thank you God for helping me in that moment when I was weak.

Psalms 95 & 100.

Let us come before him with thanksgiving

Enter his gates with thanksgiving.

Ten Days - Part Seven - Food Gets Eaten Everyday

So much more has happened. I have to write about it all. Thursday night was about God's Romance. Something he's been showing me since December at least. In the time of response, some how I knew I had to go to the tend of meeting and lie there awhile with Jesus. So I did and missed the rest of the session. Jason had a wonderful experience with you. You finally revealed in his heart how much you love him - something he'd always knowing in his head. The in the mingling afterwards David introduced himself and we got talking and he offered us his friend's apartment suite to stay. Hooray. And so we met his friends Tyler and Matt. We picked up some groceries at an econo grocery store called Wilco and made nachos. Luckily David spotted us some cash since they didn't take credit and my debit wouldn't go.

We prayed for Tyler's eyes, which were agitated. No I didn't spit in them.

Friday's morning sessions were very long. I took notes for the first and was told not to for the second. We went out to Napoli for some Mediterranean pizza at lunch. Fun people. I asked the waitress for another table's left behind pasta dish. Yes she did - very flustered. Good pizza. Good talk. Met Matt's girlfriend Lisa, a single mom of two. Good to pray for her in the worship when we returned. I danced.

I slept through nearly all of the creative quiet devotional time even with 8 hours sleep the night before. Then it was dinner break. Instead, gladly we went back out to the beautiful countryside to check out a house Matt wants David to buy. 22 acres and a stunning 5 BR house with 2 BR guest house. I didn't hear anything as far as guidance.
Ah yes and the thoughts from the morning session. What to do with old words of prophecy... school?

Back for the evening session which you can read more about over there with the session notes. Graham read a prophecy. A very long prophecy. I need to listen to it over and over in the coming months and stop when the Holy Spirit speaks, and then meditate on what he spoke. Sounds good. Then we went to TGI Friday for a late meal. Hanzel, the sword flashing dancer I thought was cool came out too and brought 5 friends. Tyler was fighting with God. The menu was expensive. I was tired. We had a little fun anyways. Shooting straw covers. Dumping water on me, hiding the ice. Eating salad with my hands (service was slow and I didn't get utensils till much later). Some good convo.

Ask and you will receive, fries, and prophecy.

We went to the party room and I got the hot seat first. Incredible stuff, and I said yes & amen in Christ. Thank you so much God. Such good people to. Bless them. It went straight onto David next without pause and then Jason and finally Tyler. It was beautiful and I can't tell you how astonishingly attractive you were last night. How appropriate, the restaurant we were in. We came home and journaled it all down helping each other out remembering words. And now it's 9:08 and still sunny shorts/sandals wear.

Psalmy

I want to follow up my last post and make it psalmy because that's the way it should be.

Andrea asked if we could do evening prayers so I had a shower while she was doing dishes and went out to the living room. I was ready to simply pray, "God I'm a zombie, you should give me a hug." But he already knew and while Andrea was reading the daily scripture's Psalm he did. We continued praying and RJ came up after finishing his movie. Prior to watching his movie he had mentioned he wanted to watch a movie and pray after (which is a fun activity we've done before). However he knew I was drastically depleted and said I could go to bed, except I never made it there. Anyway, feeling zombieish myself, I set about praying even though I didn't watch Shaun of the Dead again. RJ fell into unstoppable giggles and had to leave, much to Andrea's disappointment - well not him leaving - more his untimely insensitivity to her mood. It was all my fault and yet somehow it seemed all so appropriate because I am often in the mood for 'irreverent' prayer while everyone else is somber. That way I got to go to bed right away too so it all worked out, I think.

Anyway, I woke up early to have morning prayer with Pam and these too were life-giving. Then I made myself an incredible egg skillet, and sat and watched the sun rise with God. I went to work and did OK. I remember thinking, God thanks for making sure I'm alive right now because I don't think I would be otherwise.
Then I stayed up until 4 AM but that's not the point. The point is that God is good, and faithful and kind, and that prayer is incredibly helpful. Back on the 4 AM thing. It was very interesting to note that after two weeks of continued sleep deprivation, my brain didn't work anymore. I had sat down to write out my thoughts Thursday night and couldn't. Yet Friday night (Saturday morning) my mind was still sharp with truth. Truth kept shooting through connecting to conversation and even if I couldn't explain past things God had shown me, I could still pray. I probably can't explain this properly either, but my spirit is still in communion with the Holy Spirit, vibrantly, even when everything else has run out. So as proverbs says, don't depend on your own strength, but lean on, trust in, and depend on God. It's good for me to run out of strength and see this. Now I get to remember it even when I am strong (because I'm going to get more sleep, just you wait).
And let me leave you with this reminder: Your battle is not with flesh and blood, not even your own, but with the spiritual powers of darkness.
And friends are always good to ask for help.

I Can't See Straight

So I never finished posting my string of california posts. Mostly because they're not terribly exciting without pictures and they're on RJ's computer while they need to be on mine, and I haven't had any time. Time time time. I feel like I'm in a bit of a whirlwind right now. So many things fighting for my focus, which as you should've learned by now, doesn't exist.

Physio exercizes and appointments for my knee - It's getting better!

UM stuff - the ever-changing drama continues to unfold, and it's still hard.

Romance - As if this is third on my priorities or focus, but I thought I'd try and fool you anyway.

The list goes on music, friends, family, God, cooking/cleaning/laundry, working, thinking, dreaming, forgetting. I'm wearing out though. Beware. I'm tired and my brain is melting. Not just the usual post's sort where I'm writing, while tired at the end of the day. The continuous zombie-state is approaching.

Ten Days - Part Six - Rain & Sunshine

Jason would get sick as I drove at least 30 miles of endless hairpin curves. That kind of driving demands all of your attention and is very draining together with the rain. After we got to the coast I continued for a few hours of more intense driving. I had Jason take over beside someone's Taj Mahal house after our morning prayer. I was in a very dour disposition I'm sorry to say. I kept giving Jason driving tips, which I tried to do in a civil manner instead of just giving him looks when we skidded out or went off the pavement. He had lots of time to practice and improved leaps and bounds. The turns never ended though and by the end we were imagining how glorious the interstate route going home would be. We stopped for an Indian lunch of Seekh (lamb) kebabs with nann, rice, a lentil curry and a vegetable curry soup. Yay! I got to eat one of the sheep I enjoyed dotting the hill sides. The countryside became so unusual. African looking trees with Scottish looking hills. I drove into San Fran for rush hour with the doubtful plan of finding a visitor info centre still open, finding an internet cafe to check for billet request responses, and getting a calling card to check in at home and inquire about James. None of it, but we did help two ladies at a gas station. A big what if ending with the second but what can you do after the fact?
Annoying downtown lostness and a sample of the freeway traffic jam had us parking and walking around to kill time and clear heads. It didn't really work. Traffic was still ugly and we were still unorganized and cranky. We got to Vacaville by 9, found a 7-11, got a calling card, and an uncooperative pay phone incurred my anger. Drove around in mostly fruitless attempts to find the Walmart. Wasted time in the store because we were grumpy, but I did talk to RJ. Located a campground, went around in circles finding a restaurant. It was a classy retro-diner Jamie would've been more proud of. The chicken burger-Mexican style- and the chocolate milkshake were good. We got to the campground by 12ish and it wouldn't allow entry after 5:30 PM. So we parked at a gas station and slept in the car, showerless again.

I awoke early enough to watch the sun rise and life feel better.

We set off for AAA and praised God for the sunshine. Now I have to go finish this day before telling you about it.
Or not. Well I've registered, and bought pretty much every Graham Cooke resource available. Now I've got some time again.
So the AAA loaded us up with maps galore and let me call to confirm where the conference was and upon receiving no word about James we were able to keep our intention of not setting foot in San Fran again. Instead we went to Safeway to get yogurt and calcium antacids for Jason, and bread and wine for communion later. Then we walked over to Bath & Bodyworks for Christmas celebrations in shorts and sandals. Yes fun was had by all.
We went and got bulk bags of outcast jelly bellies resisting the urge to buy 5 lbs of candy for $10. No wait, 10 lbs for $5. We returned to Safeway to grab eggs for lunch and went to Best Buy. I found 3 CDs for smashing prices not even available in Canada and I was very happy. Then we headed for the local park where we boiled the eggs for our lovely picnic lunch. We had our daily scripture reading and shared a delightful communion with an olive loaf and Sutter Home cabarnet sauvigon. Then I read poetry while we breathed in the flowers. Hey wait a minute, there's no flowers here...
Now we have 40 minutes before the conference starts.
Oh Holy Spirit, the trips feels so long already. May this piece not be diminished. May our hearts jump at your voice. May we dance and sing without thought of dignity or distraction. We will trust you. We will love you. We will fight fears. Open our minds and spirits to receive and possess truth.