The Numbers Don't Add Up

So I'd like to start off by dedicating this post to number enthusiasts. Yes revel, math geeks, revel in your moment of glorified attention.

In the last four days, on average, I have worked precisely double the time I have slept. That's good because if I hadn't had the last two days to balance things out it would be triple.
I estimate that on average I have eaten 100 raisins per day in the last four.
In only the last two days I have eaten an average of 1/3 a watermelon per day.

OK I'm bored of that game.

As I mentioned I've been working what used to be standard summer hours, and I'm not minding it. Sunny and twenties - fresh air, joisting a floor or building walls, Sherry's in BC, who wouldn't?
Now this could be important because I've decided I WILL be set up to record music this September.
First I need to consult a techie/musician and tell them what I want to do, then I need to go shopping. And if it's required, I will buy it. I will not back down from a Mac purchase if that is what is required. I will not cringe at the heart-stopping price difference of a laptop over a desktop if that's what must be. I will slave away building houses until I can make music.
There is much more to take into consideration than just what can I buy - such as how will I actually learn how to use these purchases?
Tutorials!
I've done them, I've loved them, I will find them again.
So I'd like to announce that I'm going back to school.
I am a student once more.
And the first thing I'll have to learn is how to fight to protect this.
And memories return.
Memories of telling Andrew Gingrich I need to quit guitar lessons because I'm failing miserably at practicing daily and I'm just wasting his time - but he encouraged me and I kept going and got so so so much further.
Memories of explaining my dream of becoming a professional musician to Andrew and how God had called me to quit my job and live off my school savings. Asking him so many questions. How did it jive with his marriage? - with his relationship with God?
And he had good answers.
And I'm not saying I'm going there. I still don't have any intention of being a professional musician. That still feels cruel. Kyle asked me about that the other night. He wanted to make sure I wasn't intent on becoming an artist for money because he doesn't like having starving friends. Lucky for him I don't like starving.

Oh by the way Mute Math is coming to Calgary in September! Go buy tickets!

More memories. I remember having coffee or something along those lines with Kelly Grant and he was talking about someone else but he might as well have been talking about me (hmm kind of like a conversation I had with Sherry where I was talking about me but she took it all aimed at her). "He's got all these passions - he just needs to figure out a way of making money with them"
My passions don't make money. Only people who double as clever salesmen or find one to exploit them get to do that.
And I suppose if I was just concerned with me I would go find a more suitable job to pay bills while I do something I care about. I could be a postman! But instead I'm a funny sort of missionary and I won't apologize for that.

Have I ever told you about how I like people who talk about going on all sorts of adventures all the time?
RJ is one such person. He would go on Mediterranean trips every year all over the world (yes I know the Mediterranean isn't moving around - it was a figure of speech) if he had his way. He would go pray for Malta for a month if he had been the one talking to Marty instead of me. He could have unlimited time off work and adjustable and hence dispensable hours at work to serve his whims, and he would have independently wealthy friends who have large investments with interest and dividends that are partially donated to people who could creatively spend them. Or just spend them. I mean there's always people asking you to go out to movies and dinner and you have to be social right? And there's always stores with clothes that would make you look nice and you can't go around naked right? And hey you're being given money by generous people, you can't just go around being selfish either, so you'd best be covering people around you for such things too.

So all of that sounded just like a rant by someone who hates spending money and is careful about it. But I'm not, and no, the numbers don't add up. So RJ came up with the idea of giving ourselves monthly allowances. I'm sure I spent quadruple mine.

Timing kills me too. I haven't even been to the Farmer's Market this summer. I want to have a salsa-making party. I haven't touched the book I started reading in weeks. But hey, I need to go rock-climbing and hiking and camping and biking and rafting and volunteering and dancing and family-visiting and writing and tennis-playing and trampolining and do-I-have-to-I-suppose-it-feels-better-if-I-do sleeping, and choring, and chore shirking, and right now I have to go fold laundry before I get some sleep before I wake up, go grocery shopping, and spend all day at Nathan & Lauren's to help them out with their film, then go get some more sleep, before I pack for BC, then go pick up Faye and head out to hang out with my Grandparents (and interview them - mostly because I want to - but should this continue, could be the beginnings of a book idea I have) before coming home to sleep again before going to work and then coming home, showering and leaving with Pam for BC to hang out with Sherry at her family's for a week - where there will be, if my guessing is any good, laking and cooking and friend-meeting and praying and story-telling, and joking, and fish-gutting/freezing/packing and lots of breathing, mmmm, breathing, because I won't be home, I can't find me, I can't guilt me or tire me or busy me and there will be a fabulous girl there who is really really good at making me breathe (well except for when she's making me catch my breath).
And don't feel the need to read into this because it's overly dramatic and really I'm just sitting here tired, not stressed, or frustrated. Goodnight.