Returning to shadows of what used to be

Dear heavenly Father,

It's me, Nolan. It is another beautiful day you've made us. As today is Sunday, the day when many Christians pretend it's the Sabbath, I celebrated rest by turning off the alarm I had originally set and letting myself sleep in. After I'd turned my alarm off last night, I started reading Mark again while Sherry fed Amara. Simon was married. I never noticed that before. Did his wife tour around with you guys too? Or did Simon have to 'forsake all' for you? It doesn't say, so I don't know.
I continue to think about the idea that you plan each of our places in the world and history. Why was I born in Calgary instead of Somalia? Why does my daughter get to cluster feed and others' have to starve? Thank you for compassion. I blessed Amara with it the other day. Sneezing is an excellent reminder to pray. Thank you for groups like the Red Cross. Bless them as they bless others.

"Wherever God is not present in our structures, we are constructing idolatries—mimicking and mocking heaven." (Hmm, I would properly site this except that I'm not sure exactly - I copied it off Kirk Bartha's webpage where it is quoted from one Clairvaux Manifesto, but at the bottom it says Kirk Bartha 2008 - so did Kirk write it and then include the quote so that people might not think that it was a new writing of his? Perhaps it would be less mysterious if I read other people's blogs more consistently but that isn't likely to happen. I should reprint the quote again since I have completely lost my train of thought.)

"Wherever God is not present in our structures, we are constructing idolatries—mimicking and mocking heaven."
It is July 31. The last day of the month. I made it my goal to have finished the foam and strapping of my house today, and then complete the siding next month. This house renovation thing is very good at toying with one's brain. Will it be worth it one day? Who can tell? Is that even for me to contemplate? I don't want it to be hollow though God. I want to continue to lean on, depend on, and completely trust you. This weekend I have been slowed down trying to decide how to do many things. There are so many options, and which one should I choose? Then I get angry at myself because instead of completing what I should have been able to, I watch time slip away while I think too much. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry I get angry. I'm sorry I don't stop to return to you.
I am very thankful for more being done than a week ago. Thank you for Amara sleeping longer at night. Thank you for strength returning to Sherry. Continue that. Bless Kevin & Ang with strength and joy and perseverance to match their new daughter.

Bless the GFA missionary somewhere on the other side of the world living a life similar and yet unimaginable. Fill him with your spirit. What could he need that you won't already be attending to?
I pray for this country that I was born into. Bless Canada with wisdom and compassion. Permeate our government. I might wish that our federal government was more like Nunavut's. But it is what it is right now. So please put an end to political posturing. Whatever is pure, lovely, admirable, true, honourable, right, excellent and worthy of praise. Let those things be championed by our government. What is good but you God? We are very prone to pride. We find ideas we like and then cling to them, and resist anything different, even if it could be better.
This morning I was amazed that the tiniest bit of light sneaking into our room from the crack around our bathroom door, arriving through a small window with frosted glass, on the east side of the house, could illuminate most of our room. You are the light of the world.

Thank you for health, friends, family, work, summer, abundant food, and a wonderful home.

Thank you for speaking through the sermon podcast at work this week (and for the guys even agreeing to let it play). I do want to be a disciple. A person that other people expect to be able to do the things Jesus does. I want to reflect you. I need to spend time with you to do that.

This prayer keeps reminding me of strong points from this past week. I keep wanting to downplay them. Instead, thank you again. You are evident in and around me and I want more.

Love, your son.