These are the voyages of the starship enterprise, to boldy go where no man has gone before. Dun, dun dun dun, dun dun dun...
Yes, now I too can be cool by using sci-fi references. Actually I finally gave in and wrote it since several times the line comes into my head: Captain's log... as I start typing a blog. Ugh, I almost forgot that I dislike the word blog, but recently it feels ugly again.
So anyway, I have to fill you in on my adventures. Today God gave me super powers. I was given the ability to light anything my hands touched on fire! Not only that but with invisible fire! That way it burned but you couldn't see why. Sadly I wasn't very bright about my new found powers and went and had a shower... You can blame that poor decision on my supper though (in more ways than one) because how can you expect to be thinking clearly after eating mold, oh wait, I did that on purpose, something new, and that was probably a poor decision too, so what can explain that?
Later on I went to Sleep Country Canada with RJ and Connor and tried out beds, found a good one, asked Cyler to order two, and moved onto shopping at the mall. So weird. It's one of those things from a very distant past, quite foreign now, much like the Electronics Boutique store they wanted to stop in briefly. I'd like you all to know about my spectacular purchase. Yes after eight long years (guessed), I bought another belt. I'm sure I've been meaning to do that for the last two years but today was that day.
Then we came home and had icecream with candied walnuts and for everyone else, skor bits. MMMmmm icecream. Andrea thought I was pretty special and gave me a second bowl. Wow. As a way of saying thanks I gave her back the DVD that is way overdue that I'd been hiding from her for the last week. Just say goodbye to late fees right? Right?
Then RJ and I settled in for a highly appropriate movie for this freaky Friday the 13th...
Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. Now I know some guys out there might be reeling at the thought of enduring such a pure chick flick and wondering how we could scare ourselves that much over some silly superstitious thing that apparently came about from 13 guys being at Jesus' last supper and him being crucified on a Friday. Well now comes the scarier part, we wanted to watch it. Yes we borrowed it from Melanie, on purpose. Yeah well it was great so there. I almost cried 2 or 3 times. RJ did cry. Man he wouldn't even stop. I made sure he knew I wouldn't be mopping up all that mess, man alive.
Seriously though, good movie. And it was stimulating.
We'll just keep waiting for something stimulating.
-Project 86 or my skewed recollection of lyrics really similar (the line has been running through my head for weeks now and I haven't heard the song in a long time)
And so RJ and I had a good conversation afterwards, which I was very thankful for. Movies are much better things to have conversations after than running around over-busy.
And now he is off walking around and I am regaling (sp? what is it gale or gail and what does either have to do with storytelling?) you with tiny pieces of my life.
Excerpt of thought brought up:
If you're not sure, try, and if it feels right afterwards and things move along, keep going.
Wait until everything's lined up and then go for it.
Those are only ideals, there's infinite amounts of variations for both because ideals aren't real.
But in my case, I still believe God will speak to me. So I won't make any hasty moves, and I don't care if it lines up or not, but I earnestly desire for God to say it. It's not the correct one of three. I think God made people for all of them. But it was good for me to realize.
It's painful and confusing. So many questions like is God speaking now but I'm not hearing him? If he is then what am I doing wrong? Maybe I am hearing him but I'm expecting something else. Maybe he's not a chatterbox and doesn't speak very often. And always I feel so busy and blame that for not hearing him. Because if I gave him more exclusive time to speak, maybe he'd use the opportunities. And I'm not a person living in complete righteousness. Likely I have this whole life thing wrong, and I'm too soft, and selfish, and cruel. So maybe even if I gave him the time he still wouldn't because I'm wasting all the rest of my time. These are my thoughts. They've lived for a long time. And it would be difficult for them to leave because of the nice things you say.
I still believe God will speak to me.
On wednesday, I threw on Andy Hunter's Exodus CD at work and Kyle enjoyed the trip down memory lane to when he listened to techno and Jay got very annoyed. He complained, this music is for people who are high. Kyle asked, what about Nolan? He's not high. Jay replied, Nolan is naturally high.
I'm not sure what that all encompasses, coming from Jay, but it was interesting to hear.
I like the sunrises. I see them every morning again. They remind me that God loves me and is with me. He paints absolutely beautiful sky art even while I am being an impatient, rather intense driver.
Goodnight.
3 comments:
The sky art is definitely beautiful. Had tears in my eyes on multiple occasions last week as I had the opportunity to witness sunrises, sunsets, and even midday beauty over the prairies.
As for you being naturally high, funny that Sindy mentioned something similar in a recent email. It is true, and it is a good thing, you are a dynamic in the lives of so many people and your energy provides the impetus behind many awesome experiences.
God speaks, I know it, but the volume is directly proportional to our listening. Each time I listen, I hear Him, but then He introduces something else in me that needs to change, and I again need to ramp up that following and listening. If He's told you that you are soft, cruel, or selfish, then you have your next assignment. The terraces on God's mountain are very narrow. Just wide enough to allow for a moment of thanksgiving before we need to start climbing again.
We find it easy to get used to things, to become accustomed to blessings and not appreciate them. God is infinite and the climbing will continue indefinitely but the moment we stay at one level for to long, we get used to it and we aren't as thankful for it. Gotta keep on moving, it's not like we're going to hit the top, God is infinite.
Just thoughts which came to mind. I dunno if they're relevant or not.
relevant atleast to me.
often i find myself stopping and become apathetic towards moving again. it's comfortable where i am. if this mountain is so infinite, why should i keep trying to reach the top? reaching a clearing in the clouds only to find that there is so much further to go is scary. it brings too much of my incompetence and inability to the surface. why dare take another step? i could build a pretty little cottage and live right here until the end. but then occasionally i feel something prodding me - nagging me to keep going up and up and up...
if only i could make out the path i'm to follow.
I always look forward to your blogs. Always insightful. Rarely do I finish reading without learning something or being challengedin some aspect. Thank you Nolan. A great and true friend.
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