I've got it! I've lost it!

So I'm writing from my parents', again. I slept here last night as a matter of fact. On their new couch. It's not long enough for me and I'm sore today but I doubt very much that the couch can be blamed. The night earlier I was given the chance of a life time. Damien has taken tumbling which trained him with some of the many amazing talents he possesses. One of these is back flips. Whether you're aware of it or not, I've wanted to learn how to do backflips for a very long time. So last night I was presented with a large (to me) trampoline and a trainer. And I could not succeed. Instead I am sore from the ten times or so of landing on my head. It's very hard to break the natural rules your body has worked so hard to follow for years and years. Walking on 3 1/2 inch piece of wood beside a 30' drop means you naturally maintain balance, because you like living. Jumping on your own (smaller) trampoline for the last couple years, as high as you can possibly get yourself, you naturally don a particular posture, intended to help you land gracefully (maybe) and in control.

Anyway, it was not to be before I was 23.

Changing ages. A few months ago, I was very intent on having parties. Parties! Now I find it so hard to care. There have been a few breaks here and there. On Wednesday night I practiced the stuff I'd learned at my Funk class. I threw on Brandtson's new album, which I absolutely love now, and nailed down my routine with some wild energy unleashings thrown in here and there all to convince the rest of the house that I'd snuck elephants into the house and lit their tails on fire. OK OK so that wasn't my motivation at all, but the end result was still the same. I radiated life. I felt like myself for perhaps the first time since moving.
It was only 9:30 when I finished too which was bizarre! Then I grooved about putting dishes away and zealously cleaning the kitchen. The kitchen has been for a long time and will always be very personal for me. I cannot adequately describe how motivating it is for me to keep our kitchen clean when it actually is clean. Having lived at home where that was impossible, it was always a cycle of zealous energy with hopeless surrender. Now though I can fight to maintain, and according to our meetings' aggreement, the goal is to keep everything looking like, "gramma's house"

Anyway, in the midst of my kitchen groove, I remembered why I wanted to party in the first place.
Then I stayed up late and was tired again in the morning and almost cried at work I hated my job so much but was consoled by praying. Then I went to dance class and had great fun with a substitute teacher who taught us Hip Hop.
Friday I hated my job again and wasn't especially thrilled with life and in desperation on my break looked up Colossians 3:16 which is my life's verse - actually that's just a verse amidst a big passage that I clung to and actually memorized awhile back as having great meaning for life.
All of Colossians 3 was bread and air for me.

Colossians 3

1IF THEN you have been raised with Christ [to a new life, thus sharing His resurrection from the dead], aim at and seek the [rich, eternal treasures] that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.^(A)

2And set your minds and keep them set on what is above (the higher things), not on the things that are on the earth.

3For [as far as this world is concerned] you have died, and your [new, real] life is hidden with Christ in God.

4When Christ, Who is our life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in [the splendor of His] glory.

5So kill (deaden, ^[a]deprive of power) the evil desire lurking in your members [those animal impulses and all that is earthly in you that is employed in sin]: sexual vice, impurity, sensual appetites, unholy desires, and all greed and covetousness, for that is idolatry (the deifying of self and other created things instead of God).

6It is on account of these [very sins] that the [holy] anger of God is ever coming upon the sons of disobedience (those who are obstinately opposed to the divine will),

7Among whom you also once walked, when you were living in and addicted to [such practices].

8But now put away and rid yourselves [completely] of all these things: anger, rage, bad feeling toward others, curses and slander, and foulmouthed abuse and shameful utterances from your lips!

9Do not lie to one another, for you have stripped off the old (unregenerate) self with its evil practices,

10And have clothed yourselves with the new [spiritual self], which is [ever in the process of being] renewed and remolded into [fuller and more perfect ^[b]knowledge upon] knowledge after the image (the likeness) of Him Who created it.^(B)

11[In this new creation all distinctions vanish.] There ^[c]is no room for and there can be neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, [nor difference between nations whether alien] barbarians or Scythians [^[d]who are the most savage of all], nor slave or free man; but Christ is all and in all [^[e]everything and everywhere, to all men, without distinction of person].

12Clothe yourselves therefore, as God's own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper].

13Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].

14And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony].

15And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].

16Let the word [spoken by] Christ (the Messiah) have its home [in your hearts and minds] and dwell in you in [all its] richness, as you teach and admonish and train one another in all insight and intelligence and wisdom [in spiritual things, and as you sing] psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, making melody to God with [His] grace in your hearts.

17And whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus and in [dependence upon] His Person, giving praise to God the Father through Him.

18Wives, be subject to your husbands [subordinate and adapt yourselves to them], as is right and fitting and your proper duty in the Lord.

19Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them.

20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.

21Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.]

22Servants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not only when their eyes are on you as pleasers of men, but in simplicity of purpose [with all your heart] because of your reverence for the Lord and as a sincere expression of your devotion to Him.

23Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as [something done] for the Lord and not for men,

24Knowing [with all certainty] that it is from the Lord [and not from men] that you will receive the inheritance which is your [real] reward. [The One Whom] you are actually serving [is] the Lord Christ (the Messiah).

25For he who deals wrongfully will [reap the fruit of his folly and] be punished for his wrongdoing. And [with God] there is no partiality [no matter what a person's position may be, whether he is the slave or the master].

And here is what I memorized and have been reviewing:

12Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are all called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

16Let the words of Christ, in all their richness, live in your hearts and make you wise. Use his words to teach and counsel each other. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. 17And whatever you do or say, let it be as a representative of the Lord Jesus, all the while giving thanks through him to God the Father.

And about that time I came upon some inspiration for another party to come about the beginning of November. We'll see what happens. I'm really good at getting grandiose ideas...

Yesterday I read a letter my grandpa gave me a copy of that he had written to a Jehovah's Witness some years ago. It was very encouraging, and I thanked God for it.

I went to the Crossroads Market for Faye's birthday party which was fun. I really hate shopping by myself (although I'm sure most people hate shopping with me), so it was fun to drag people around with me, like Chasey and my Mom, to sample fruit varieties and buy some stuff and just chat.

I will likely return today at 3 when everything will get price drops to clear out before closing.

Then I'm making waffles with Jenn.

I'm still drowning in the everlasting list of to-dos and the weight that brings. But little things like playing wall ball at night with tennis rackets, and casual regular life encounters with people at home, and freak-out moments about finances that turn out alright, these are good toys to have in the pool.