OK, so normally (forget normal - my previous intentions were) I should be jetting to bed, but I felt God reminding me of establishing things through writing, so I'm going to try and get some of the last two days down here.
Yesterday, Tuesday was a bad day. I'm not quite sure why, the weather was nice enough, I got to listen to Peter & The Wolf on the classical station at work (my personal highlight), nothing was wrong. However I felt bombarded with negative thoughts. I hated myself. I'm a terrible framer. I would fire me if I was on the flip side for spacing out and taking too long and still making dumb mistakes on a frequent basis. Mosquitoes are evil and alive. Driving was an exercize in anger. Thinking about the house and the um, I was getting depressed and bleak too. Upon arriving home, I let a note on the board irk me, and I angrily set about doing dishes. All this time I was fighting it. I knew it was bad and wrong and that I needed a whole lot of opposite. I keep listening to Avalanche by Matt Good, and I have a lot of appreciation for that album, I don't think I used to. It's very good though his happiness is still a tragic sort.
There were good thoughts in there too. For instance I thought about house dinners and how I miss them being better attended, and more organized. But then I thought, even if it's only RJ around, they're still worthwhile.
Anyway, I stayed on target thanks to the help of some friends and went to bed at 9. Yes, nine. Unimaginable to be sure, which is why when I woke up the first time, perhaps at 1:30 AM or so, I thought it was time to get up. Thankfully it was not.
OK I need to speed along this process. RJ snoring crazy. Dreams. Wake up again. Turn on vapourizer. Dream some more. Get up. Breakfast/morning stuff alone, weird, since Pam was not around. Had a Delirious song stuck in my head and eagerly grabbed some of their CDs for driving. Dropped off RJ. Enjoyed King or Cripple. Prayed. Prayed that God would renew my mind. Recognized that Tuesday was a spiritual attack of sorts, that I've felt that before and that I have to press in with thanksgiving and that other people were facing the same thing.
Today was good. Maybe some of that can be attributed to extra sleep and having bug spray. But I was still tired and sick as far as the extra sleep goes. And I still hate mosquitoes. Maybe I was looking forward to JLYS. But no, it was more than that. Much more. It was God renewing my mind. Which was good. So while previously I was thinking about asking the house for prayer. By the time I talked to Kirk, I was ready to pray. Yes I talked to Kirk and fancy that but he was dealing with a few similar symptoms. So after JLYS, which I thoroughly enjoyed, we came back, had some blackberry gelotti(sp?) (yes this is the 5th day of cheating on my no desert month) and prayed. I started listening while Pam showed off her hat to Andrea, and had a few things already when Kirk started praying. I always enjoy when he prays. Today was no exception. And now, this is important. This is why I wanted to write in the first place. What did I pray? Because God led me through things. The prayer was alive.
I prayed that he would have discernment. That he would recognize the things of God and the things that are not, but most importantly that God would give him supernatural wisdom to understand the things that are both, because they're mysterious and require divine understanding.
I prayed that the words of Christ would rule in his heart and that the peace that comes from Christ would guide him. That as he looks at the different activities and pieces of his life, that Jesus would share his thoughts and opinions on the matter. That God would teach Kirk to recognize that peace, so he doesn't confuse it with himself settling on a matter for awhile.
I prayed for protection. Faith will be needed in every battle. Not how much, in whom. Which always connects me to the helmet of salvation. Jesus is our salvation. The helmet is for our head. I thanked God that he is the head of the relationship. The scripture out of Ephesians 5 was at play in my spirit. He is the leader, the organizer, the instigator, the visionary. The father, the husband, looking after his family and friends.
I prayed about the UM and the house. Right off the bat God reminded me that they were his ideas. Oh yes, I remember the vision/thing in Brighton for the house. I remember his work and smiles revealing his involvement behind the UM itself.
Ah, what a relief. He will see them through. He will be creative.
I prayed that we would be attentive to what he has to say, and obedient. John 17 came back again. Jesus' prayers for us. That the world would recognize him because of our love for one another. That we would be as close and tight, as to be compared with the trinity. That we would be that close to God.
Kirk prayed a great many good things too. We'll see if he remembers them and/or writes them down.
I however need to go brush my teeth and go to sleep. I finished Andrea's bookshelf today. Hooray.
RJ had a vision and journaled it down and shared it with us. It was encouraging and comforting to me. My favourite part was when he talked about Jesus opening his eyes again and they had love in them that came out.
You have wonderful eyes. And you look at me.
How could I not love you when you do that?
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