Rant

So today someone asked me if I minded if they smoked a cigar. And I told them not to worry about it. Do I mind? Well yes. I have a very very strong gut level aversion to smoking of all forms. However for a long time I've had the intention to look into the health facts of cigars and shisha vs cigarettes, not because I was interested in starting either, but just because I didn't know. So today I did, and was horrified about the shisha and definitely not impressed with the cigars. So from a more knowledgeable standing, I hate it.
I hate it.
And it irks me, because in the past being in smoky places, has bothered me strongly, but I've done it anyway, especially if it's friends. But really a loud voice yells inside with startling intensity. And it's hard especially with some good friends and good people who enjoy it. But, it's also hard to have relatives die from second-hand smoke cancer and leave behind their wife and three young kids. And an uncle truck driver to have tongue cancer.

While those things are disturbing, it's not what drives the outrage. I think it stems straight from heart-breaking self-destruction, that affects the people around you, and then treating it so lightly. It's fun. It smells good. The buzz. It's not that bad. Fuck you.
That was honest. But it's not good either. Perhaps it's as bad as what I'm so angry about. And it's confusing because I clearly care about you if I get riled enough to be like that. Appropriate response though?