Good morning Jesus, it truly is; in every sense. I love you. Yesterday in one of the sessions Graham talked about you showing us where we would be blessed next by where the enemy attacks us. In the evening session, I thought I was ready, set, go for worship. But then it started and it was a disappointment to my expectations. And I let it destroy me somehow - those unfamiliar songs, all so slow. And I knew. I knew I had to get past it and worship anyway. SO I raised my hands a while, thinking, "hands up," and, "surrender." Still my heart turned fouler. It began to curse even as I tried to bless. So I tried to sing but even there my heart didn't follow and there was no joyful noise.
Thankfully the man next to me whose baby had been the only thing seemingly wondrous enough to move me in the last 15 minutes came alongside and asked if he could pray for me. In quick acknowledgment I answered "that would be good," in an ugly but accepting tone. So he prayed and prayed and then he asked if it was hard engaging in worship.
Yes.
What do you feel?
Nothing.
You need to get past that somehow. I was having a hard time too but there's something there in the spirit and you have to worship even if you feel nothing.
Glad that God had shared my plight with him, but still in the same predicament, I wondered how I should try again.
Then he came over again and asked if I remembered the morning session? How important it is to be thankful. Start with that even if you have to repeat the same thing.
So I did of course! The light had come back. Of course I knew that to be true. Within minutes I was crying and in the peace, and love. Oh thank you God for helping me in that moment when I was weak.
Psalms 95 & 100.
Let us come before him with thanksgiving
Enter his gates with thanksgiving.
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