Psalmy

I want to follow up my last post and make it psalmy because that's the way it should be.

Andrea asked if we could do evening prayers so I had a shower while she was doing dishes and went out to the living room. I was ready to simply pray, "God I'm a zombie, you should give me a hug." But he already knew and while Andrea was reading the daily scripture's Psalm he did. We continued praying and RJ came up after finishing his movie. Prior to watching his movie he had mentioned he wanted to watch a movie and pray after (which is a fun activity we've done before). However he knew I was drastically depleted and said I could go to bed, except I never made it there. Anyway, feeling zombieish myself, I set about praying even though I didn't watch Shaun of the Dead again. RJ fell into unstoppable giggles and had to leave, much to Andrea's disappointment - well not him leaving - more his untimely insensitivity to her mood. It was all my fault and yet somehow it seemed all so appropriate because I am often in the mood for 'irreverent' prayer while everyone else is somber. That way I got to go to bed right away too so it all worked out, I think.

Anyway, I woke up early to have morning prayer with Pam and these too were life-giving. Then I made myself an incredible egg skillet, and sat and watched the sun rise with God. I went to work and did OK. I remember thinking, God thanks for making sure I'm alive right now because I don't think I would be otherwise.
Then I stayed up until 4 AM but that's not the point. The point is that God is good, and faithful and kind, and that prayer is incredibly helpful. Back on the 4 AM thing. It was very interesting to note that after two weeks of continued sleep deprivation, my brain didn't work anymore. I had sat down to write out my thoughts Thursday night and couldn't. Yet Friday night (Saturday morning) my mind was still sharp with truth. Truth kept shooting through connecting to conversation and even if I couldn't explain past things God had shown me, I could still pray. I probably can't explain this properly either, but my spirit is still in communion with the Holy Spirit, vibrantly, even when everything else has run out. So as proverbs says, don't depend on your own strength, but lean on, trust in, and depend on God. It's good for me to run out of strength and see this. Now I get to remember it even when I am strong (because I'm going to get more sleep, just you wait).
And let me leave you with this reminder: Your battle is not with flesh and blood, not even your own, but with the spiritual powers of darkness.
And friends are always good to ask for help.