Catering To My Readership

So some Def Leppard came on the radio again today and every time it does now I have to think of Pam. Especially when, like today, some "Pour Some Sugar On Me" comes along. Now the lyrics to this song are probably not to be adopted into your own life but that's really not the point. It's fun to have associations with people to remind you of them. It's also a good way to remember to pray for them.

It's also fun to go back to the days of high school with all its inside jokes and ridiculous nonsense, more than just when I read Trevor's Cantaloupe zine.

So let me share some pointers with you all. If you are ever in a position where you want to make it clear that you are interested in a girl, and you get the enviable position of going on a roadtrip with them, here's some tips:

When she says, "Christian guys don't want fun girls, they want submissive house wives."
You say, "I don't. I want a wife EXACTLY like you some day."

When you are re-arranging seating, you do not say, "I want the back all to myself."
You say, "I want the back all to myself, and maybe [insert girl of interest's name]..." Give a devious look immediately following.

Now I know what all you shy insecure guys are thinking. HOW could I do that?!?! I need to share my feelings with her in private where I actually have the nerve. Yes yes, that's fine, but that's not the intention with this exercize. You're only hoping to make this girl start thinking about the possibility of a romantic entanglement with you. Hence you start joking around a few days before you ask her to go see a movie with you, alone.
What do you mean, accusing me of using a boring uncreative date as the first date. This isn't for me! I was using you shy insecure guys in the example, remember.

If you want some more smarts, well, I'll keep dispensing it.
If some girl informs you that she can't believe females aren't throwing themselves at you, and that she's telling her friends about you. You need to ask her two questions.
"Hey, wait a minute, you were just taking those cell-phone pictures of me to use on some singles, dating website you've made a profile for me on! Weren't you?"
"Hey, wait a minute, you have friends who've never met me already!? Not very likely... Just who were you trying to convince I was an alluring bachelor?"